Welcome to The Age of the Web Hermit

tyroneking writes "Phil Hartup on bit-tech.net has captured the Zeitgeist of the web-aware generation: The Age of the Web Hermit describes how some lucky souls can live their lives, earn money, buy necessities and even find love on the Internet. 'Is there anything that we really need good old fashioned Real Life for any more?'; not me!"

You mean besides SEX?!

[twofidyKidd]

The Internet cannot get you drunk. I should know, I've tried.

The internet...

[Mikachu]

The internet: the only place where you can change your penis size.

Maybe I'm there...

[ErikTheRed]

I mean, if you consider "reading Slashdot" as "going out and socializing"....

Re:You mean besides SEX?!

[Clinton]

Oh come on, just go into your favorite AOL chat room and take a drink of beer every time you see LOL. You'll be drunk in no time!

whatever

[kaoshin]

I don't use the internet. What a bunch of suckers.

Re:Unless you also use your laptop as a commode...

[SgtPepperKSU]

Are you sure? What makes you feel this way?

Re:What?

[drinkypoo]

In many places in this wide world, you can get pussy delivered.

Re:Unless you also use your laptop as a commode...

[ScentCone]

Are you sure? What makes you feel this way?

Hah! I knew it!

Social Hermits?

[Anonymous Coward]

My cronjob web-based order to pizza hut should kick in within the hour. Automatic bill-pay for my bills, telecommute and direct deposit for work...but no, I'm not a friggin hermit. I'm running GAIM and posting to slashdot. I play games online once in a while...that's considered human interaction, right?

If you want a web hermit, go stick a picture of Stallman with the relevance of ESR and you've got yourself your posterboy.

Now if you can give me a dynamic World of Warcraft type immersive game where everyone else is AI, then maybe I'll be a hermit.

Re:What?

[Digital Vomit]

Problem solved! [petfinder.com]

Semi-hermit

[kayakun]

I confess, I'm a hermit. I'm probably one of the very few people who goes to college and spends all his time in his room. I'm not a full-hermit, though, since I do go out to buy groceries and things like that, but my social life is basically non-existent. I don't even have friends in college, and I have maybe a total of 5 people I talk to through IM. Being a hermit isn't that bad, but most importantly, it's my choice. Some people may prefer to hermit themselves due to social anxieties or phobias. At least the Internet makes hermitting more entertaining. The biggest draw-back is probably the lack of physical contact. I haven't received a hug in years. I don't miss talking out-loud much though. As a matter of fact, since I haven't talked in so long, when I talk out-loud my throat gets sore. Ouch.

You go do that

[l0ungeb0y]

Yeah, get it on with your bad web hermit self.
I'm sure there's a lot of people out there who aspire to be a balding fattie eating delivery pizza every day and jacking it to internet pr0n. I hear guys like that drive the women wild.
I consider it natural selection -- self removal from the gene-pool.
Go Darwin go!

 

Re:Just because you can...

[Kesch]

/hug

Re:Digital life is pure luxury

[IflyRC]

(just like you do on your way to Starbucks) I may be confused, but if I am on my way to Starbucks and ignoring people, how I am totally living my life online??

I just think the statement is a little contradictory to the topic at hand. Shouldn't I be paying someone to go pick up my Starbucks for me since I am living a life of luxury and never want to go outside? I mean, if *I* have to go get my own Starbucks, obviously I'm not a hermit nor am I living a life of extreme luxury.

Re:Shut-ins

[pixelpusher220]

Um...plenty o' fat pipes in prison.

It's just sorta like Soviet Russia.

You don't use the pipe to access society, (prison) society uses the pipe to access YOU!

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Luv, twu luv.

[nick_davison]

"Some lucky souls can live their lives, earn money, buy necessities and even find love on the Internet."

Why, those lucky souls truly have everything in the palm of their hand.

You might be a web hermit if...

[Bushido Hacks]

You might be a web hermit if...

• You lock your self in your room to look at source code.
• When your mom opens the door you yell "Mom, close the door! Your letting the demons out!"
• Your hygene habits resemble that of a svelte Theodore Kaczynski.
• When the power goes out, you immediately stop breathing.
• Goths have stopped by your house and ask if they can hang around your room because it is dark and creapy.
• You secretly write love letters to fictional anime characters.
• You friends (if you have any) have started a chapter of the Secret Snake Club [cartoonnetwork.com]

Re:The internet...

[voice_of_all_reason]

Ah yes, but don't you have to put on your robe and wizard hat first before casting that level 13 Scroll of Engorging?

Re:You mean besides SEX?!

[twistedsymphony]

Physical contact?
Pff... your hardware [onzin.nl] is obviously obsolete.

Actually i am one of those

[unity100]

I do everything except the very frequent things (bread buying etc) from the net.

'Net' is our country, we are its citizens. We are the 'Net'.

As an added bonus, i can opt to go out and 'socialize' in the old fashioned way, in the manner and time i choose.

Isnt it fantastic ?

You have to log off eventually

[Hoi Polloi]

The ultimate limit on your online time is when you get bedsores on your ass.

Friends?

[zaphod_es]

I have an imaginary friend, doesn't even matter if my internet it down :)

Re:whatever

[Eternauta3k]

I don't use the internet. What a bunch of suckers

Can you say that again? The last smoke signal was kinda blurry.

Re:What?

[fdiskne1]

In many places in this wide world, you can get pussy delivered.

Only on Slashdot could this be modded "Interesting".

Re:Shut-ins

[bunhed]

Oh man, I don't even want to think about the /. forums with all those faces and voices in a tiny little window.

As Sandra Bullock demonstrated....

[arcite]

in THE NET: Angela Bennett is a computer expert. This young and beautiful analyst is never far from a computer and modem. The only activity she has outside of computers is visiting her mother. A friend, whom she's only spoken to over the net and phone, Dale Hessman, sent her a program with a weird glitch for her to de-bug. That night, he left to meet her and was killed in a plane crash. Angela discovers secret information on the disk she has received only hours before she leaves for vacation. Her life then turns into a nightmare, her records are erased from existence and she is given a new identity, one with a police record. She struggles to find out why this has happened and who has it in for her.

Moral of the story? If you are a modern day hermit, atleast take the time to introduce yourself to the pizza man incase your stalkers find you out and erase your IDENTITY.

Alternatively, when being chased by phychopaths who want your data, remember to back it up on a trusty floppy disk. NOTHING can hurt those!

Alternatively, always choose Macintosh, the only laptop that effieciently upload viruses to alien space crafts and save the planet.

Alternatively, if you are as hot as Sandra Bullock and are also a modern day hermit, I would like you to have my ICQ#, I'm here to help ANY WAY I CAN.

Re:What?

[Youx]

Problem solved :
http://www.fu-fme.com/ [fu-fme.com]

Re:What?

[gambit3]

Don't look at me. I modded it "Informative."

Re:Maybe I'm there...

[bazorg]

people just look like idiots to me when they're drunk, and not in an entertaining way.
Don't blame them for that, they're semi-conscious. As the conscious one, you're in charge of making things entertaining. Just don't forget to take your camera with you when you go out with your drunken friends. After a few "priceless" pictures, they should reconsider their ways :)

Stupid People = Extroverts

[kin_korn_karn]

You know, I just came to the realization that I've never met a stupid introvert. Every stupid person that I've ever met was extroverted, and usually extremely so.

Re:What?

[Anonymous Coward]

And a hot babe and gf with it. :-)

Just try to makes sure they never meet. Unless of course you think they'd be down for that sort of thing ;)

Re:What?

[Eevee]

Or for faster service. [petsovernight.com]

The problem with that is...

[Rob T Firefly]

...every time I meet a woman from the Internet in person, she looks less like Sandra Bullock and more like Jim J. Bullock. [nndb.com]

Re:What?

[drinkypoo]

In many places in this wide world, you can get pussy delivered.

Really? And if the shipping address is Mom's basement?

Well then in your case, you can just order down from upstairs.