Duke Nukem Forever Update 250
Gamasutra reports on an update to one of the longest running jokes in the games industry, Duke Nukem Forever. The title, already ten years in development, may (possibly) see release this decade. From the blurb: "3DR's George Broussard also demonstrated world interactivity that includes Duke standing in front of a computer and emailing the player, if he provides his email address for the game. But, according to the piece, Broussard was bashful, overall, about showing off the game, commenting: 'The problem is that when we show it, people are going to be like, Yeah, whatever. Honestly, at this point we just want to finish it.'"
You Retards! (Score:4, Funny)
Preorder? (Score:5, Funny)
April 1 lasts a long time at Slashdot. (Score:5, Funny)
Finally some REAL progress! (Score:5, Funny)
"mainly just pieces of the game in progress and tech demos", including "an early level, a vehicle sequence, a few test rooms"
OOOoooo, an early level *and* some test rooms? Sounds like they've been busy these past ten years! If we're lucky maybe they've also completed a Pong mini-game, which leaves nothing left to create except the game itself.
Sending email? (Score:5, Funny)
I expect we'll see a realease right after Duke Nukem gets threaded news reader and RSS support.
Honestly, at this point we just want to finish it. (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, whatever.
Re:You Retards! (Score:5, Funny)
I'll buy it. (Score:4, Funny)
It might look good next to BOB and Daikanata.
Re:Nothing for you to see here, move along (Score:5, Funny)
World Interactivity (Score:4, Funny)
So they've built a spambot that runs from inside a game? And all it took was 10 years. Wow...what innovation.
Maybe you guys don't see the true humor here... (Score:4, Funny)
Truths (Score:5, Funny)
2. Other testers will then buy $800 graphic cards to test it out on their vapor cooled 5Ghz Pentium4 box, then say, meh, only gets slightly better FPS than Jazz Jackrabbit or something equally stupid
3. The game will be released, it will sit on 5 CDs instead of one DVD to keep "costs down" and pirated versions will appear with all the speech replaced with mexican festival music
4. People will realize the game is as deep as the pamphelet their latest credit card came in and will toy with the game until 17 minutes after initial release someone posts a complete walkthrough with every secret bonus and glitch found.
5. The online site will be inundated with delinquant 13 yr old sharp shooters who won't give us hard working adults a chance to just play the game and have fun.
6. Some dude in Korea will die after playing the game for 79 hours straight.
7. A full week after the release of the game a dozen patches will come out to fix various holes in the game [re: pirates] and each one will take a full 200MB to replace 39KB of code in the binary.
8. A full week and one day after release the game will become yesteryear news and people will be clamouring about the latest "let's kill the mutant aliens in obviously dangerous situations game"
9. The folk at 3DR will be vindicated then bought out by MSFT and outsourced to India to make the "books" look good.
Tom
one comment. (Score:2, Funny)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! pull the other one.
Re:Preorder? (Score:5, Funny)
Evolve? (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:2, Funny)
LOL (Score:2, Funny)
Re:You Retards! (Score:2, Funny)
How long is it gona take? (Score:1, Funny)
Duh Nukem (Score:4, Funny)
Inspired, insightful thinking like that is getting Duke Nukem finished and downloaded to your computer at lightning speed.
Re:What Went Wrong? (Score:5, Funny)
When to quit tweaking the game. When to quit adding shit. When to quit revising it. When to quit the project period.
As I recall, these attributes are considered to be a good thing within the Open Source community.
Re:Preorder? (Score:5, Funny)
MY NAME IS MIKE OBUTU. I HAVE RECENTLY COME INTO POSESSION OF 1000000 (ONE MILLION) COPIES OF DUKE NUKEM FOREVER.
Stupid lameness filter isn't letting me post the full message, but you get the idea.
Re:What the?! (Score:2, Funny)
[b]3D Realms:[/b] Why? We running out of time?
[b]Gamer:[/b] Technically, yes. The universe is collapsing and the time dimension is starting to rotate into a physical dimension.
Re:Truths (Score:2, Funny)
> DVD to keep "costs down" and pirated versions will appear with all
> the speech replaced with mexican festival music
Cool! Where can I download this patch?
> 6. Some dude in Korea will die after playing the game for 79 hours straight.
When Quake came out, soon after I got the 3.5 CTF super-patch. I recall seeing a guy run by with the glowing, waving flag, and this holy light shone down on me. This, multiplayer, team-based online gaming, was what all human game history was leading up to. I played for over 36 hours, from 11:00 AM to 11:30 PM of the next day I only stopped because I was literally falling asleep at the keyboard (woke up standing in the water where that guy grabs the grenade launcher in QDQR so he can "take a shortcut" on a later level.
> 7. A full week after the release of the game a dozen patches
> will come out to fix various holes in the game [re: pirates]
> and each one will take a full 200MB to replace 39KB of code in the binary.
People will find out their saved games are useless after the patch, will complain about it online, and get called "asses" by developers for not reading paragraph 472 of the release notes carefully enough.
Re:No kidding! (Score:3, Funny)
But this is special string data that has been touched by the blessed DNF engine (may it bring us everlasting joy amen).