Paul Allen's Microsoft Experience

theodp writes "Just in case Microsoft bashers don't have enough ammo, Robert X. Cringely has a couple of interesting tales in this week's column. The first explains how Bill Gates used Paul Allen's moonlighting at MITS to justify awarding himself 64% of Microsoft's stock vs. Allen's 36% (and Gates' failure to adjust the shares after he accepted a $10/hour part-time MITS job). The second heart-warming tale concerns a conversation Allen reportedly overheard late one night (as he was finishing up DOS 2.0) between Gates and Steve Ballmer discussing how to get Allen's Microsoft stock back if the Hodgkins disease Allen was battling killed him. Yikes."

Now, Knowing this...

[Phantombrain]

Any Bets that Allen uses Linux now?

Guilt

[ickoonite]

I wonder if this is the root of all of Bill Gates's philanthropy - giving to assuage the guilt wrought by past malfeasances. Like this.

Couple that with the fact that Ballmer is clearly a psychopath (*ducks*) and the Gates-Ballmer leadership looks quite scary. Microsoft truly are evil.

iqu :?

Considered submitting something like this on Apr 1

[PhoenixK7]

Recent internal Microsoft memos confirm that the company, despite popular belief, solely exists for the purpose of acting as whipping boy for the website slashdot.org. Sources confirm that the company has recently held meetings about finding new ways to stir the coals including mention of developing more stories that involve reasons to despise the company's execs. Gates was recently quoted as saying, "We're not getting any great flamebait anymore, they're all pretty apathetic and mundane these days. They're just repeating the same stuff. We need some fresh blood out there!" Sources close to the matter, indicated that leaks were being set up for personal information about the companies founders to "put a face" on the object of the vitriol, and to drive and develop Microsoft's interests at Slashdot through the coming years.

When asked for comment, Slashdot posters likened the news to an extension of Microsoft's embrace-and-extend methodology that the company applies to product development. "We won't be duped by this one, we can't let Microsoft to develop a monopoly on sarcastic and derisive commentary." Other posters used lots of exclamation points and mixed caps, and thus were excluded from this press release.

(It's a joke guys, I'm not intending this as flamebait ;-)

Bring back the pink!

[jokestress]

Stories about corporate backstabbing would be much cuter with yesterday's pink skin. And ponies.

Re:Question for someone knowledgable

[Kjella]

By marrying X... Both Bill and Ballmer were single guys. Of course, if X was a guy, they would have to go to Canada to get it legal. ;o)

Let me guess... you're the one tagging this story as gay?

Re:The man has $15 billion with a "b" dollars

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, nobody should have that much money.

We should take it from him, somehow.

Re:flamebate?

[AWhiteFlame]

> I am about as pro-Microsoft as you get on Slashdot.
Wow, you must really hate Microsoft.

Re:flamebate?

[MyLongNickName]

Thanks. After reading your link, I have a new favorite sig ;)

That's great!

[The Bungi]

This is a fantastic piece of opinionated "journalism". From TFA:

But during one of those last long nights of working to finish-up DOS 2.0, something happened. I have heard this story from two people, each of whom was a friend of Allen's and in a position to know. Each told me the same story the same way. I am not staking my reputation on the accuracy of the story, but I am saying I have it from two good sources. Paul Allen certainly won't confirm or deny it, so I'll just throw it out for you to consider.

I have this story about, um, Richard Stallman... or maybe Linus Torvalds. I am not staking my reputation on the accuracy of the story, but I am saying I have it from two good sources. I'll just throw it out for you to consider. Ready? Here it goes:

So there was this goat, right? One night... [please visit my blog for the rest!]

Re:Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation?

[The Bungi]

Hitler called. Says Godwin wants his hyperbolic, I've-lost-all-sense-of-measure argument back in time for some African warlord's trial for genocide at the Hague. Unless you're busy using it on Slashdot.

Re:Question for someone knowledgable

[Kris Warkentin]

640,000 shares ought to be enough for anyone....

Re:Yikes??!!

[pallmall1]

Only truly Evil, greedy bastards try to legally steal someone's estate.

They are known as lawyers.

Re:Gates gave us opensource.

[drsmithy]

Six or eight years ago, Mac OS 8.5 was clearly superior to Windows. The desktop was more intuitive, more responsive, crashed less, and had far fewer security problems.

I think you've got your pink glasses on there, mate.

My name is Paul Allen....

[Rohan427]

....and I don't do Windows.

PGA

Even better:

[Provocateur]

He actually carries an Ipod around whenever he has to sit in a meeting with Ballmer...

Really?

[SomebodyOutThere]

A captain of industry is a greedy capitalist? I'm shocked, shocked.

Re:Character assassination

[neo]

Thanks Bill, but you can just use your normal handle here. We know you read Slashdot.

Re:Now, Knowing this...

[Eccles]

Gates has proved to be very good at monopoly.

I think that's because he got the little car. [angelfire.com] Fittingly, I got the boot.

Standing in line at a drive-in window

[eric76]

I got a kick out of this:

when Paul Allen-the-billionaire wanted some fast food late at night and -- not having a car -- WALKED through the drive-through as part of a long line of cars.

I did that once myself. I didn't want to drive across the street from my office to the Taco Bell late one night so I just walked. It turned out that only the drive-through was open. So I took my turn between the cars standing in line. It took about half an hour before I got to the front of the line. I felt a bit idiotic standing there.

I never saw or heard of anyone else doing that until now.

I also used to regularly go through the drive-up line in the bank on my bicycle. But that didn't feel quite as wierd as standing in line at Taco Bell.

Re:Now, Knowing this...

[dubl-u]

And here I thought capitalism was an economic system. Silly me! It must be the defining term of my society. My bad.

You said it. Fundamentalist capitalists are even more annoying than fundamentalist Christians.

Re:A lot of this is old news

[Kangburra]

Don't you know by now, you never get the source when it comes to M$.

Re:Guilt

[Anonymous Coward]

Couple that with the fact that Ballmer is clearly a psychopath (*ducks*)

Did you duck fast enough to avoid the flying chair ?

Bill Gates, Son of Sam, Prince of the Darkness

[Anonymous Coward]

Did you know that W. H. Gates also burnt crosses, desecrated the most holy Eucharist and was accused of blood libel for kidnapping a three year old girl and using her blood to make pashka? He also copulated with witches on full-moon Saturdays, fathering baphomets and stole the Spear of Destiny on behalf of the Satan. His latest dark deed was to kill Pope John Paul II which he did by poisonong the wells of the Vatican. Last week te Lord of Hell instructed Bill Gates to travel to the Antarctica and summon the clone Hitler and their reptile-nazi army of flying saucers to start the Armageddon, so he can best his 9/11 achievement.

So evil is Bill Gates the polygamist child abuser cannibal. The fight to defeat him and his forces of darkness will be a difficult one, since every Windows disk is a horcrux which contains a split part of his soul, so the Gates of Hell cannot be destroyed until every single Windows installation of the world is replaced. However, all Windows installations are protected from removal by means of powerful marketing charms and those who tried to ban Windows have been obliterated by unstoppable hexes.

Only when sandal geeks start reading Harry Potter instead of The LoTR can we close the Gates of Hell and vanquish the Dark lord forever.

And if you believe any of the above then you are a gullible open sourced money-hating pseudo-anarcho-communist fanatic, which is even worse than being a taleban jihadist! Shame on you for reading...

No, we'll all be riding ponies

[NigelJohnstone]

"Long after the oil has run out, after the banks called in their loans, on the deserted Anerican streets, the few stragglers scuttle about to Fortress-like McDonald's only accessible through the drive-in"

Nah, the Chinese will wake up to find they've go nothing but paper back by nothing but oil, without oil they've only got paper! We'll all be driving through the MacDonalds on our magic pink ponies, silly.

"I'll have a Big Mac, Large Fries and a Tinkerbell will have a bail of straw".
"Trott up to the Window, Please Mr Taco"
The pony in front lifts its tail and takes a dump.
"Oh and add a chocolate milk shake to my order"