Creationist Textbook Stickers Declared Unconstitutional

An anonymous reader writes "MSNBC reports that a judge in Atlanta, GA has ruled that a sticker placed on all textbooks in Cobb County stating that 'Evolution is a theory, not a fact,' is unconstitutional, and ordered that all stickers be removed."

Thank God!

[ruhk]

Finally a bit of sense in the courts. :D

This deserves the [HERO] tag

[WormholeFiend]

oh wait, this is isn't Fark

Evolution at work

[Brakz0rz]

Glad to see this ridiculous disclaimer get darwinned.

Equal time for plano-terrestrialism

[earthforce_1]

In the name of plano-terrestrialists everywhere, I demand that all globes, maps and atlases include a disclaimer stating that the idea of a round earth is only one of many possible theories.

Furthermore, we demand equal time in the classroom to discuss our alternative theories of geography.

Dear Creationists

[aendeuryu]

Dear Creationists,

We'll put these stickers on our science textbooks when you put "God's existence is a theory, not a fact" on your bibles.

so, how is creationism taught anyways?

[k4_pacific]

Teacher: Class, today we are going to study Creation. A long time ago, God, who cannot be quantified or proven to exist or not to exist, created life using supernatural powers that cannot be explained by science.

Student: Will this be on the test?

Teacher: Will what be on the test?

America still might have a chance

[Sophrosyne]

Stupid religious nuts

Re:Thank God!

[Em Ellel]

mod parent troll

Actually mod it funny due to subject "Thank god!"

-Em

A better warning ...

[GISGEOLOGYGEEK]

alert alert!

A theory may be inside this textbook!

You may be forced to think for yourself!

Don't read this textbook, instead keep on blindly swallowing the lies spread by your religious overlords so they can remain in control of you!

Re:Interesting...

[k4_pacific]

Creationism works like this. God is infinite. Therefore, to represent God, we will use an infinite series:
0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + .... = 0

1 - 1 = 0, so logically it follows that:
(1 - 1) + (1 - 1) + ... = 0

Removing the parentheses:
1 - 1 + 1 - 1 + .... = 0

Adding new parentheses:
1 + ( -1 + 1) + (-1 + 1) + ... = 0

Simplifying:
1 = 0

Thus, God can create the universe out of nothing.

QED

God could not be reached for comment.

Re:Interesting...

[mr. marbles]

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."

"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed at the next zebra crossing.

Re: What?

[Theatetus]

Gravity is accepted by probably about 99.9999999999% of the world. Evolution is accepted by a minority of the world.

Oh, science is a democracy now? I'm supposed to let the mouth-breathing, troglodytic masses who can't be bothered to learn what an allele is have a say in the science education in public schools? Why does the fact that a large portion of the world is too stupid / lazy / superstitious to learn about evolution matter to you?

ICR - Institute for Creation Research

[genrader]

Institute for Creation Research [icr.org], check it out.

Instead of Removal...

[the pickle]

...they've been ordered to cover them with these [swarthmore.edu]!

p

Re:Equal time for plano-terrestrialism

[earthforce_1]

Oh, forgot one:

"And he made a molten sea, ten cubits from the one rim to the other it was round all about, and...a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about....And it was an hand breadth thick...." -- First Kings, chapter 7, verses 23, 26

Here is biblical proof that pi is in fact exactly 3, which should be given equal time in high school math classes.

"Number Theory is Only A Theory"

[rich42]

I've been spending the last two years trying to get them to put "Number Theory is Only A Theory" stickers on all the math books in Washington state.

This does not bode well for my cause...

Re: What?

[GISGEOLOGYGEEK]

Hey now! I breath through my mouth due to a nose problem, and I live in a cave ... but I know what an allele is!

Its time to fight against the predjudice towards cave dwelling people with overgrown nasal septa!

Re:Equal time for plano-terrestrialism

[victor_the_cleaner]

Actually I heard a story about a school district (in Georgia I think) that had a board member that said PI should be 3, since that is what the bible says.

Re: What?

[Anonymous Coward]

"The World" generally means "The part of the US I live in".

Re: What?

[Scrameustache]

Bashing religious people, especially Christians, is easy.

Yup, all you need is a good club. Especially real christians: they turn the other cheek.

Re:I'm in the Cobb County School District

[grcumb]

"I hope that this won't negatively impact my future, maybe I'll get lucky and the admissions officers at the schools I'm applying to won't read the news today."

No problem, just show up for your interview in a t-shirt with 'CAUTION - MAY CONTAIN THEORY' written across the front. They'll love you.

you have it backwards

[Phil Urich]

it's "thank goodness I live in Canada ... where there aren't so many people so rabidly fundamental that they try anything, everything, even silly things like stickers to try to make children ignore evidence!"

Re:God ~IS~ Provable

[E-Rock-23]

God is Love.

And Love is Blind.

Therefore, god is Stevie Wonder.

Thank you, I'm here all week, try the lambchops...

Re:Yay!

[Anonymous Coward]

Everything we need to know about this topic has been eloquently and concisely discussed in the song by artist MC Hawking (rap persona of physicist Stephen Hawking).

Fuck The Creationists

Trash Talk
Ah yeah, here we go again!
Damn! This is some funky shit that I be laying down on your ass.
This one goes out to all my homey's working in the field of evolutionary science.
Check it!

Verse 1
Fuck the damn creationists, those bunch of dumb-ass bitches,
every time I think of them my trigger finger itches.
They want to have their bullshit, taught in public class,
Stephen J. Gould should put his foot right up their ass.
Noah and his ark, Adam and his Eve,
straight up fairy stories even children don't believe.
I'm not saying there's no god, that's not for me to say,
all I'm saying is the Earth was not made in a day.

Chorus
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck the Creationists.

Trash Talk
Break it down.
Ah damn, this is a funky jam!
I'm about ready to kick this bitch back in.
Check it.

Verse 2
Fuck the damn creationists I say it with authority,
because kicking their punk asses be me paramount priority.
Them wack-ass bitches say, "evolution's just a theory",
they best step off, them brainless fools, I'll give them cause to fear me.
The cosmos is expanding every second, every day,
but their minds are shrinking as they close their eyes and pray.
They call their bullshit "science" like the word could give them cred,
if them bitches be scientists then cap me in the head.

Chorus

Trash Talk
Bass!
Bring that shit in!
Ah yeah, that's right, fuck them all motherfuckers.
Fucking punk ass creationists trying to set scientific thought back 400 years.
Fuck that!
If them superstitious motherfuckers want to have that kind of party,
I'm going to put my dick in the mashed potatoes.
Fucking creationists.
Fuck them.

Check out the great MC Hawking tunes at his website [mchawking.com].

Re:so, how is creationism taught anyways?

[fredrikj]

Anyway, who created God then, smarty?

No one created God. He spontaneously expanded into infinity out of an initially infinitesimal lump of potency.

Re:Dear Creationists

[tfoss]

'invisible pink elephants' created the universe.

Wait, if they're invisible, how can they be pink?

(;

-Ted

Re:so, how is creationism taught anyways?

[jfengel]

I just want a word with the guy who came up with the term "intelligent designer". If I'd designed this thing I'd have been fired. The design sucks. I've already had to repair one serious failure on my knee (which doesn't come with a warranty, natch, so it's out-of-pocket). And my own eyes have never worked properly; I've had to work with a miserable hack using third-party lenses.

"Intelligent design" my ass. Write up a textbook on "crappy design theory" and I'll buy it.

Re:Thank God!

[mrjb]

As opposed the highly probably theory of Noah's ark being beached and somehow the Kangaroos and Koalas all flew to Australia

Now c'mon. Everyone KNOWS kangaroos don't fly. They jumped there. As for the koalas, they didn't fly nor jump-- they haven't got the wings or legs for it. Obviously, they teleported. I saw it once in a cartoon, so it must be true.

Russian Proverb

[hayden]

"Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore."

Re:Yay!

[mo^]

Some of my bestest friends are tooth-fairies....

You insensitive Clod!!!!

Re:Thank God!

[flyingsquid]

The way I see it, if a bunch of retarded homicidal apes can turn into something as fantastical as our modern society, anything is possible. Prokaryots from ooze seems easy to believe by comparison.

And anyone who doubts we're descended from apes, take a look at the current occupant of the Oval Office.

Re:Thank God!

[henni16]

Please.
The koalas were simply taking a nap in the kangaroos' bags.
You have to be resourceful if you have only one boat for that many animals!

Re:That's a good call, dude

[Darth Cow]

Actually, reduced mortality rates are better correlated to the increased righteousness of our cause.

Re:Stop Whining

[I(rispee_I(reme]

/me prints out a roll of "Gravity is only a theory, not a fact" stickers...

Re:Is that a trick question?

[Anonymous Coward]

There's a cord that joins my belly to her lady parts.

We have to travel together, of course, but I never have to eat, drink or go to the toilet.

Yes, more stickers!

[Dr. Evil]

...stating that they too are not facts...

I too would prefer more stickers. Stickers indicating that the aforementioned stickers are not proven facts, but they themselves are opinions regarding the factual nature of the theories contained within the attached book.

GRUNT

[l4m3z0r]

You. Right. Grumsh hate evolution. It stinky farty poo. Atheists go squish now!

Re:so, how is creationism taught anyways?

[jfengel]

So we're evolving towards an intelligent design? That should make everybody happy!