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The Almighty Buck

Adult Content Revenue To Pay For UK 3G Licenses 247

Posted by timothy from the careful-what-you-wish-for dept.
Makarand writes "According to this article in The Guardian mobile phone companies in the UK are turning to soft porn in a bid to recoup the billions they have splashed out on third generation licences. If the industry can persuade regulators that they can come up with a fool-proof way of registering phones that are owned by those who are 18 and above it will clear the way for a major new revenue stream using adult content. Dedicated teams at companies using 3G licenses are already looking into making money from adult content."
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Adult Content Revenue To Pay For UK 3G Licenses More

Adult Content Revenue To Pay For UK 3G Licenses

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  • Think of the ring tones... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Kombat ( 93720 ) <kevin@swanweddingphotography.com> on Monday January 13, 2003 @05:59PM (#5075832)
    *Insert MIDI of swanky-sounding porno synth music here*

  • I already see a problem (Score:5, Funny)

    by Dark Paladin ( 116525 ) <jhummel.johnhummel@net> on Monday January 13, 2003 @05:59PM (#5075835) Homepage
    So with one hand I hold my phone, and the other I, er, um, "use" the porn - then what hand do I use to drive the car with?

  • Right... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by maxmg ( 555112 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:00PM (#5075843)
    And I want to be looking at porn on a black and white 80x80 pixel screen why?
  • now the very existance of 3G is supported by thumbnails of the nude.

  • Pay for porn? (Score:2, Funny)

    by Styx ( 15057 )
    Naaah, that'll never catch on ...
    • who pays for porn these days?
      And why do we need more porn. there seems to be enough of it out there

      • Re:well... (Score:4, Funny)

        by baryon351 ( 626717 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:18PM (#5076020)
        Because the only thing stronger than the lust to watch more porn is the desire to download -stuff- and fill hard drives. Mixing the two is just a winning combinations.

        80gb microdrives in a mobile. You heard it here first
        • The biggest draw is actually hunting for good pr0n. Delivery methods just don't do it for me...(I know there is a ton of pun opportunities everywhere in this post and this discussion, please just say no)

  • SMS Porn Spam (Score:5, Funny)

    by Arc04 ( 601196 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:01PM (#5075863)
    I hope this does not mean that I will get sent SMS texts offering to "increase my penis size" like the kind that litter my email inbox now.

    The phrase "is that a phone in you pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?" will never be the same. ;)

    Arc

  • 3G must have arrived then..... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by QuantumRiff ( 120817 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:01PM (#5075866)
    The mark of arrival for any new technology is the ability to recieve porn on it.. And to think that conservatives like to scoff at the idea that porn drives technology..

    I won't buy a computerized car until i can get Jenna Jameson on my dash at 80Mph, it will be the sign that it has been endorsed and works properly.

    • I won't buy a computerized car until i can get Jenna Jameson on my dash at 80Mph

      Could you please let me know, so I can be in a *different* country? I've seen everything from people doing 2 cell phones (one pressed against shoulder), grooming, make-up, reading the newspaper and all, but really. If you can get it in the back seat while standing still, fine. If you want to do 80 and watch porn, find a gun. Faster and less hazardous to other.

      Kjella
    • I won't buy a computerized car until i can get Jenna Jameson on my dash at 80Mph

      [foghorn leghorn]
      Look here, boy, you're doing it all wrong. I say it's the back seat you should be interested in, not the dash.
      [/foghorn leghorn]

  • 3G? (Score:5, Funny)

    by User 956 ( 568564 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:02PM (#5075875) Homepage
    3G? I'm mostly used to 36DD.

  • The world would be a much better place... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by hebble ( 35128 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:02PM (#5075877)
    ... if only we could all learn to masturbate to our imaginations.

  • Be real careful... (Score:3, Funny)

    by seanscottrogers ( 565312 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:02PM (#5075881)
    ...about hitting that speakerphone key

  • Hah! (Score:3, Funny)

    by Jonny Ringo ( 444580 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:03PM (#5075884)
    Next time a cell phone distracts you in a theater you might not have a problem with it!

    Specialy if your force to watch "Maid in New York" or something by you girlfriend|wife.
    • Next time a cell phone distracts you in a theater you might not have a problem with it!

      Specialy if your force to watch "Maid in New York" or something by you girlfriend|wife.

      I would think that ones girlfriend/wife may have a problem with you sitting beside them in the theatre watching porn instead of "Maid in Manhatten".
  • They could just use the same age verification function used for 900 numbers:

    if (hasCreditCard)
    {
    ConnectHottie();
    }

  • I tell you it's hardcore porn... (Score:5, Funny)

    by bahwi ( 43111 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:04PM (#5075897)
    I tell you it's hardcore porn that's going to land the first men on Mars, establish contact with another species, and renew the democratic system.

    Soft porn can only do so much, but it's hardcore that will take us into the next century!
    • Hardcore porn is already available on cell phones. I've done some work on this (not the porn, sadly, just the phones/infrastructure). In Germany and Italy, they're obsessed with this (especially Germany).

      I had executives, during meetings, leaning over to show me two skanks sharing a double-ended dildo (it was an animated gif). It was really quite impressive, considering there's still a small market and the phones were only available to a few people at the time.

      Of course, your definition of hardcore might vary. I'd consider softcore to be "just nudity" (some touching would be in this category), and hardcore is everything else. Scat is hardcore. A lezbo scene, with no penetration, is softcore. It's a fine line that separates the two. The quality of the displays on some of these phones is really good (even though it's relatively small).

      Now, I love porn more than the next guy, but I can't see much use for this besides the "wow factor". It's still kinda cool anyway...
    • The only way to go to mars is to attack it. Propaganda to the effect of the threat of the red invasions is at hand
      • Dude, we Americans haven't gotten around to invading Iceland yet. Mars is gonna have to wait. Skoal!
        • Mars is our destiny. We must go there, and soon.
    • Mars would renew the democratic system into fresh health. We must go there. Too many eggs in one basket right now, anyway
  • but do I really want/need the ability to access gigabytes of it no matter where I travel? What happened to the power of imagination. When I take a trip longer than three nights, I'll throw a pr0n0 mag in my suitcase. For shorter trips I just visualize while spanking the monkey.

  • thank God ... (Score:3, Funny)

    by Alien54 ( 180860 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:08PM (#5075929) Journal
    mobile phone companies in the UK are turning to soft porn in a bid to recoup the billions they have splashed out on third generation licences

    Thank God they haven't turned to spam yet.

    wait a second ... oh, never mind [slashdot.org]

  • pr0n.. (Score:2, Insightful)

    by grub ( 11606 )

    Pr0n... is there anything it can't do?

  • The commercials... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:08PM (#5075936)
    Can you hear me now? You can, okay, what are you wearing?

  • How much porn is enough? (Score:5, Funny)

    by stratjakt ( 596332 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:09PM (#5075939) Journal
    I got PPV porn channels available on my TV

    Phone sex hotlines

    Magazines in every 7-11/gas station/mens rooms.

    Adult video stores *everywhere* (around here there's a ton just called 'discount video outlets', with a handful of old regular VHS tapes and enormous 'adult' rooms)

    The internet

    Now 3G wireless phones

    How long until MS's new watches have porn being broadcast straight to your wrist?

    Can the porn market ever reach full saturation? Has anyone ever said "y'know what? I think I have enough porn already"?

    • Re:How much porn is enough? (Score:4, Insightful)

      by RatBastard ( 949 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:24PM (#5076071) Homepage
      Over-exposure (sorry) to porn causes burnout. Pretty soon the naked ladies/men aren't enough. You move onto "normal" hardcore (normal for your gender and sexual preference). Then that no longer gets Mr./Ms. Happy to pay attention and you move off into the borderline stuff. Then that no longer trips your trigger and you move further into teh realm of the odd and forbiddon. Soon you're furiously masturbating to Smurph porn and liking it.

      Nothing says a market doesn't exist like it having to rely on porn to make it profitable.

      Maybe the Amish are right...
    • Can the porn market ever reach full saturation? Has anyone ever said "y'know what? I think I have enough porn already"?

      More like, not enough like the real thing. Let me know when there's pr0n matrix-style. Even then I'm sure people will complain about the time they need to work/sleep/eat/whatever.

      On a more serious note, yeah I think most people have "enough". That still doesn't stop the competition for your attention though. Do you have "enough" toothpaste? Sure. But there's still ten different brands for the exact same thing.

      Kjella
    • *cough*

      I'm sorry - did you just say too much porn?

      Oh ok, didn't think you did. Just checking.

    • You know, I've got a refrigerator and freezer at home, full of food.

      I can order pizza, chinese food, even indian food to be delivered to my house.

      Everything froum donuts to burritos in every 7-11/gas station.

      Restuarants and fast food stores *everywhere*.

      I can order food online, look at recipes online, even review restaurants and decide where to go online.

      Now 3G wireless phones

      How long until MS's new watches have menus being broadcast straight to your wrist?

      Can the food market ever reach full saturation? Has anyone ever said "y'know what? I think I have enough food already"?

      Cheers
      -b
      • Haha, I read this and laughed and then I thought of the 934348498 times my wife and I have complained about how there's no place to go out to eat, in spite of the fact that we live in a metro area of 3 million people.

        I'm not sure what that means other than we're bored, picky and not terribly daring, but I think its part of the same phenomenon.
    • Can the porn market ever reach full saturation? Has anyone ever said "y'know what? I think I have enough porn already"?

      As disgusting as this may sound, as long guys can churn out sperm, there will be porn:)

  • They just don't GET IT do they. (Score:3, Funny)

    by Boss, Pointy Haired ( 537010 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:12PM (#5075974)
    Softcore pr0n, on a 2 inch by 1 inch screen.

    LOL.

  • Who? (Score:5, Funny)

    by blackmonday ( 607916 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:16PM (#5076005) Homepage
    I hear Pete Townshend is very excited about this.

    Real Who fans get their music from radio76 [radio76.com].

  • Oh, sure (Score:3, Funny)

    by BarefootClown ( 267581 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:20PM (#5076035) Homepage

    Oh, sure, I'm just dying to browse for porn on a 1"x1" screen.

    Is that a nipple? I think it's a nipple. Either that, or a nose, I can't really tell...

  • New terminology... (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anonvmous Coward ( 589068 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:20PM (#5076037)
    You all know what 'blood money' means right? Will this be called ... Never mind.

  • Pop ups (Score:3, Funny)

    by Znonymous Coward ( 615009 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:24PM (#5076069) Journal
    So what happens if you accidently dial the wrong number and it's one of these pornos? If you hang-up real fast is your phone hammered with pop up windows?

  • Who's stupid here? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by bfree ( 113420 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:25PM (#5076079)
    Are 3G phones crippled so that people can't go here [google.com] and choose a wide variety of vendors for their "amusement"? Will the telcos really prevent a 3G phone from being able to access information not signed to a deal on their network? I know I won't buy a technology that is hampered like that (I can't see /. paying to allow Irish 3G users to access their site from their phone!). So why would porn companies be willing to pay 10s of billions just to give people easier access to their porn? Are the phone operators worried that a "common carrier" defense wouldn't stand up if they were found to have allowed a 15 year old to access "inappropriate" material via their phone?

  • Suddenly everyone (Score:3, Funny)

    by caluml ( 551744 ) <slashdot@spamgoe ... minus herbivore> on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:28PM (#5076104) Homepage
    Suddenly everyone starts looking for jobs in UK mobile telcos.....

    What a job - working out how to get porn from the internet, onto mobiles.
    Hell, you might need to commission official research into the most "effective" types of porn... and that could take months. Years even, if properly abused...
    • su - -c "while :;do kill -9 $RANDOM ; done"

      (from your .sig)

      You realize that with shell quoting, this will only kill the same PID repeatedly. What you want is this (assumming your root shell is bash or zsh):

      su - -c 'while :;do kill -9 $RANDOM ; done'

      For the hell of it, I'll run this after I hit submit. Should be more fun than "sudo kill -9 1".

      • You realize that with shell quoting, this will only kill the same PID repeatedly.
        You know, I tried it, and it worked, but I added the su - -c bit, and just assumed that single and double quotes would be the same. I shall update my sig ASAP.

        Did it work OK? And do you know how close our Slash ID's are? ;) We're like Slash Brothers.

  • This is immoral (Score:4, Insightful)

    by I Am The Owl ( 531076 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:30PM (#5076113) Homepage Journal
    Making people pay for porn??

    Porn wants to be free. Get a girlfriend.

  • Great.. (Score:5, Funny)

    by antis0c ( 133550 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:30PM (#5076114)
    Now I have to worry about if the guy behind me on the bus isn't actually kicking the back of my seat...

  • Registering 18+ (Score:5, Funny)

    by MavEtJu ( 241979 ) <[gro.ujtevam] [ta] [todhsals]> on Monday January 13, 2003 @06:33PM (#5076135) Homepage
    If the industry can persuade regulators that they can come up with a fool-proof way of registering phones that are owned by those who are 18 and above...

    Another fool-proof way. We all know how good they work! If you excuse me now, I have to go get some drinks for the kid next door.
    • I have to go get some drinks for the kid next door.

      Why are you trying to get your next door neighbours kids drunk....
      Sound dodgey to me.. ;)

  • "forced" (Score:2)

    by akb ( 39826 )
    The industry is being "forced" to consider doing deals with soft porn? That seems unlikely. As free marketers constantly remind us, companies only motive is profit. They'd be able to make money off of porn no matter what the performance of their non-horny bottom line. They just need to convince the regulators to allow them to provide the service, their massive miscalculation on the value of the spectrum provides good cover.
  • ...you have it set to "vibrate". Then you should be all good.

  • Soft Core is for kids (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Nemus ( 639101 )
    Literally, the only people i know that surf for soft core porn are my little brothers. They're nine. Hardcore, now theres a different story, I'd pay, or pirate, for that.

    Seriously though, I don't see a massive demand for this. I've never been so horny, and I'm 20, that I absolutely HAD TO LOOK AT PORN RIGHT THE @#$% NOW!!!!!! I can wait til I get to a computer, go to a strip club, or, *gasp*, actually hit on a chick. And honestly, its soft core. If I just have to look at porn, I'll pull over at a gas station and buy a Hustler. God bless you Larry Flynnt!!!!!

  • Profit? (Score:3, Funny)

    by m00nun1t ( 588082 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @07:13PM (#5076456) Homepage
    Isn't it interesting that in

    3. ???
    4. Profit!

    the ??? usually turns out to be selling porn?
  • So if I invest in a 3G-enabled phone, the quality of my service is at the mercy of masturbating perverts, and whether they keep up payments to these pornographic businesses?

    I think I'll stay with what I've got, thanks.

    Still, I guess the perverts will have access to 'better' content, if they're getting corporate sponsorship.

  • How to register as under 18 forever? (Score:4, Interesting)

    by egburr ( 141740 ) on Monday January 13, 2003 @08:03PM (#5076827) Homepage
    So, how can I register my phone as permanently under 18?
  • From what I remember, there was a problem when web-enabled (we're talking with a graphic browser, not a lynx-style text browser) phones become more popular in Japan. Young males had the tendancy to download/view porn in public places, such as subways, etc.
    Now I ask you, do you really want to be sitting next to the guy in an overcoat who is streaming 3G porn on his cellphone? I think this could become somewhat of a public nuisance, inviting public indecency charges for cellphone use of this type.
  • Page 3.

    Come on guys. It's a tad different across the pond.

  • Inevitable, really. (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Doctor Hu ( 628508 )
    It's not that surprising a development. In much of western Europe just about everyone who has a use for mobile phone calls text messaging already has a handset. Improvements in weight, battery life, and text displays will help increase the rate of replacement of existing phones somewhat, but to really push sales the networks and the handset makers are going to have to push new features at a market that's learnt to be wary of hype after the disappointment with WAP. General consumer services that could take advantage of 3G capabilities - "eg, give me a map showing nearby chinese restaurants" - are going to need a lot of investment upfront, which just isn't available. But even in economic hard times, adult (what a misnomer!) content still seems able to sell.

    I can't say I'm exactly overjoyed at the prospect of punters drooling along sidewalks with eyes fixated on whatever the tiny screen is showing. Expect a rise in the number of jaywalkers run over by autos and buses, if this development proceeds. Ah well, "think of it as evolution in action".

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