2nd Annual Poetry Spam

guidobot writes "Its the time of year for SatireWire's 2nd Annual Poetry Spam, an event where contestants write poetry consisting entirely of quotes from spam e-mail. You can also check out the winner of last year's contest. This could be your only chance to win a contest by writing poems about earning $100,000 in 10 weeks by working at home..."

my comment

[faeryman]

For $1250 I wil teach you how to get First Post! This is not a bulk mail either!

Perverse incentives

[Lionel Hutts]

Oh, great! Now that there's a prize, professional poets'll start spamming us with sonnet verses just so they can reassemble them as poetry.

"This could be your only chance ..."

[Seth Finkelstein]

This could be your only chance to win a contest by writing poems about earning $100,000 in 10 weeks by working at home..."

Wait a minute - are you saying that this contest is a way to MAKE MONEY FAST? :-)

Sig: What Happened To The Censorware Project (censorware.org) [sethf.com]

What's Next?

[spatrick_123]

What's next - magnetic spam for your refrigerator?

stop dont do this!

[kuiken]

This is an evil plot from the spamlords to get us to actualy read the spam we get, instead of trashing it.

Re:Last year's winner

[Anonymous Coward]

Rhyming is not being poetic anymore,
Modern poetry needs to have substance.
Substance is the hidden theme,
inside a cryptic poem.

Poems are very much alike cyrptography
in this regard.

Haiku

[gandalf_grey]

you make much money we promise great fortune empty your account

Re:Haiku Properly formatted...

[gandalf_grey]

you make much money
we promise great fortune
empty your account

umm

[fjordboy]

Is there any rule against using SpamMimic [spammimic.com] and simply encoding a poem in spam?

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mail ! This mail is being sent in compliance with Senate
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you ever noticed people love convenience plus nearly
every commercial on telev..... and this goes on and on.....

To all you spammers out there...

[uriyan]

Shall I compare thee to bits of stone?
You serve less purpose, and cause much more trouble
The stone doth stay when roughest winds are gone
But when IPs are traced, you're already on the double

Sometimes too slow the mail servers are
And often is their total bandwith dimm'd
By thine empty headers who bring far
Less money than to you it must have seemed

But thy eternal spam-fest will not pass
Nor will you lose those d4rk-IPz j00 0wn
Nor shall /dev/null contain all your tries
To make some money, since your work's really worth none

So long as l4m3rs live and traffic's free
So long lives spam, and spam gives life to thee

Darn..

[proxima]

I knew I shouldn't have deleted all of my spam from the past year. I guess it's time to randomly place my e-mail address on newsgroups to get enough spam in the next few weeks to write some good poetry.

For those of you still using AOL....

[Overdrive_SS]

Here's your chance to use all that spam to win the gifts of your dreams. Thats right, the 20 dollars a month you are spending for a 56K busy signal could be your ticket to not one but TWO tshirts, a hat, a coffee mug, and that's not all... If you enter now(and win), we'll throw in a mousepad for free. We know it sounds too good to be true, but you too can glory in the riches this contests offers. Hurry, there is no time to waste, enter now!

Offer valid in 49 states, sorry Tennessee!

Re:Haiku Properly formatted...

[zbuffered]

How about...

Consolidate Debt
Improve Your Credit Rating
Click here for details

or

You've already won
Click here and fill out the form
We will spam you more

or

Do you like free sexxx?
Give us credit card numbers!
No, really, it's free!

finally...

[gtx]

a use for all this goddamn (previously) useless crap that has been piling up for the last year or so... and to think i was just going to delete it.

I HAVE ENOUGH SPAM COLLECTED TO FUCKING RECREATE THE ENTIRE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE*

time to get to work

*this, of course, is assuming that hamlet said things like "Add 2-3 inches to your penis INSTANTLY" or "THIS IS NOT MLM!!!" or "According to UNITED STATES LAW, this email cannot be considered spam..."

Sure way to root out the real spammers

[BierGuzzl]

Get em as they stand up to claim damages due to copyright violations!

Re:This is bad...

[3th3rn3t]

ENLARGE YOUR PENIS SO THAT YOU CAN USE IT AS A WEAPON ! geesh ! at least you can give them creativity. they are getting better by the day !

Maybe start with my lastest inbox gem

[GreggBert]

I should use the spam that has been splattering into my inbox over the last week "Increase your ejaculation volume by 581% !!!". I could probably base a poem on that one. I would know how to start. That part is easy. I'm just not sure I could stop.

Re:Maybe start with my lastest inbox gem

[TypoDaemon]

yeah - with five times the ejaculation volume, i don't think i'd be able to stop for a while either. ;)