Please create an account to participate in the Slashdot moderation system


Forgot your password?
America Online

Journal Migor's Journal: Migor's computers 2

Migor has received too many questions about his mighty computers. He will answer them now for you.

Migor has lots of computers that run lots of different operating systems. His most amazing feat was installing Windows 3.11 for Workgroups upon a broken bottle of Schlitz beer. Migor's computer prowess is so great that he got the bottle of beer to not only talk with his network, but to get online without winsock.

But the greatest operating system ever made, which Migor runs on the mightiest of his computers, is Gigux. Gigux was the first *nix based OS that would run on anything. Gigux was originally created 700 million years ago by Gigor, who also happens to be Migor's wife.

It is so secure it has never needed a patch. It can emulate any other platform using a built in tenth sense combined with an ancient yoga technique. While technically open source, only a few of the Universe's top computer scientists can understand more then a few lines of its code.

It is by far the most popular operating system in the known universe. It is pronounced goo-gax. Originally it was pronounced Gi-gex, but a war broke out over the people who correctly pronounced it and a smaller faction who pronounced it ghee-goim. Gigor was so upset over the self-important riotousness found in both camps, that she shocked the Universe by creating an audio file, in her own voice, stating The correct pronunciation of my Operation System is Goo-Gax. Everyone involved felt ashamed, and billions of teen-age computer geeks killed themselves in a highly detailed suicide ritual that later became known as Gi-death.

This was fine by Gigor, since she didn't like those folks anyway.

How Migor got to meet Gigor, and her eventual rise to become the greatest software engineer in the history of everything is an interesting story in and of itself.

Almost 1 billion years ago, Migor was chaperoning a dance for his first Son, Aigor. (Aigor was produced asexually and for all practical purposes was a clone of Migor. He was killed sometime later when Migor accidentally bashed his skull open with a sledgehammer). At Aigor's school, Gigor was a guidance consoler, having recently graduated with a degree in psychology from a community college on Tarvon Prime.

When Migor first did see Gigor, he felt weak. Goosebumps did form on many of his lower tentacles. She had 500 perfect eyes, and 500 perfect blue breasts to match. They began to talk at that dance, and the romantic conversation was such sweet music that the band stopped playing. The children were so taken with the new couple's wooing that over half of the female population did become pregnant by the end of the night. (Coincidentally, within a few months a quarter of the male student body died in strange 'accidents' involving shotguns.)

They did become married a month later, and thus began a love that would last through the ages. In 840,000 years they will celebrate their one billionth anniversary. Plans are already in the works for the celebration, which will include vaporizing 1,000 planets with civilizations who have not discovered space travel (as nobody cares about them anyway).

At first, Gigor did become bored. Migor insisted she quit her job at the high school, and join him upon his orbiting lair. She had nothing to do, and she took to watching trash TV. Being the wife of a overlord can be quite dull, so Migor gave Gigor a king's ransom in space bucks so she could start her own dress shop.

While Migor was very good at death and destruction for profit, Gigor was terrible and running a dress shop, and it soon did fail. Not to give up, Gigor then began to study computer science, and after a thousand years and 5 bottles of Tarvonian wine, she did complete Gigux, and has been a celebrated citizen of the universe ever since.

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

Migor's computers

Comments Filter:

If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.