SarahAnnAlien's Journal: Building a Yucky Monday

A really yucky Monday has to be carefully built in advance...

Start with chronic insomnia.

Add a week of being sick, which turns your sleep cycle to chaos.

Add a week of unsuccessfully trying to restore your sleep schedule.

On the weekend, add a nightmare in which several guys stand outside your window at night, getting ready to break in and kill you.

The next night, add a second nightmare in which two guys pound on your front door, and when you look out the peephole, you see they are heavily armed, ready to kill you. Wake up at 3am, shaken, and read slashdot for a few minutes. Try to go back to bed, end up worrying about your relationship with your family, and cry for a half hour or so.

On Sunday night, tell yourself, "I have to get some sleep tonight; I have to work in the morning!" Take the medicine that helps you sleep, but doesn't generally wear off until lunchtime the following day.

On Monday, stagger semiconscious into an office carefully calibrated to a perfect consciousness-impeding temperature. Sit in front of computer. Struggle to retain consciousness.

How to cope? So far: put multiple cold brew tea bags into an appropriate beverage container. Fill with cold water. Brew until tea bags are not visible when immersed. Sit outside in the cold, without a jacket, and drink until awake enough to remember, say, the password to your computer account.

Remember that no matter what happens tomorrow, at least it won't be Monday.

Actually, I feel much better now. Apparently I've been here an hour now. Now if I could just figure out where that hour went...

I don't want to leave anyone with the wrong impression; I had a *great* weekend, both productive (heavy duty bathroom cleaning) and fun (shopping!), but sadly, that doesn't seem to help consciousness-wise on a Monday morning.