sbszine's Journal: A Letter To Luigi

This arrived in my inbox recently.

Dearest Luigi,

Itsa me, Mario! I gotsa the big existential turmoil and I needsa your help! My English is not so good, so please be patient with your brother, si? Okay, itsa like this: The dream, she is always the same every night. I drinka the vino, I eata the pasta, and I fall right to sleep, si? And there I am--POOF--at the bottom of the big tall building. But the building, she is not finished! She is under construction, with the exposed girders and the ladders that go only the halfway up!

To Mario, this is crazy! If this is not a metaphor for Mario's own damaged psyche, then Mario knowsa nothing about the interpretation of the unconscious archetypes, no? At the toppa the building is the Princess Toadstool--the beautiful lady with the beautiful hair that Mario loves. She's a so nice, she's a so pretty, and I must have her for the kissing and the smooching and the amore. But the dream, it getsa worse! Also too on toppa the building is the big-ape monkey Donkey Kong! And he's a'beating his chest and a'stomping his feet and he's a'throwing many of, how do you say?, barrels at Mario.

Clearly, Mario sees the Donkey Kong ape-monkey as an obvious extension of Mario's own primal sexual urges. So, do you see my trouble, Luigi? Mario's dream with the Donkey Kong and the Princess and the crazy building--itsa alla one big neo-Jungian amalgamation of Mario's demented sexuality and warped self-image, si? Oh, Luigi! Help Mario, please! It'sa depraved! It'sa sick! It'sa me! It'sa demon-haunted landscape of Mario's tortured mind and I have no choice but madness! Okay, okay, I'ma finished ranting. Mario use up all of his English.