JVert's Journal: Momento

I was in the middle of watching momento. Its a great movie if you havn't seen it. Its a horrible movie if you have seen it. Well no, not really I just like the way that sounds. But I know I like it and I know of other people who dont. So my statement is still true. Ha I love truth vs opinion. Because what i'm writing is true because it cannot change. And opinions change, eventually. Its evolution. When I watch momento I really get into the movie. I mean I feel like I have the same memory loss syndrome when watching it. Not by any means to our main players extent, but when my wife tells me to get the water I get the 2 day old glass because I forgot she brought in a new glass of water. Why did I forget something like that? Am I just letting myself get immersed in the movie? I'm ok with that, hypocondriac can be a fun game if you play with yourself and dont bother anyone with it. Power over emotions is like bending spoons, in my opinion at least. Thats why I like journals. Your going to read this in a very different mindset then I am now. Its like travelling to a different country. If you can express an emotion well enough to describe its color and its taste when they are not really feeling it, then they get a greater understanding of the object because they can see it without being blinded by its power. Look i'm rambling heavily and my typos are based on poor spelling not key switching. I like that and feel I should just keep going if not just to improve my accuracy. But the flow is great. Hey I had a point, that I think I have a problem with my memory. Not a serious one but the movie makes me think, If my memory is really bad then I wouldn't really know, right? Sure people can tell you, and they have told me. May I just need excercises to improve it but I somehow feel its something genetic cause my dads a little crazy. But he's doing good and I think thats what I need to learn. Look dont freak out i'm just typing for fun tonight. Let reality exist only through a thick fog, in that fog are shadows that you are trying to explain to a blind man. And he begs to know what is out there when it doesn't really matter if its true or not. So you blush a little bit and make shapes like cloud shopping. The purpose is to renember. I had a USB flash card that I did my daily backups with. I loved carrying it around because it made me think of the software everytime I felt it rub against my chest. But I seemed to have missplaced it somewhere. I dont think I would lose a PDA, the USB was gifted to me and had questionable value, it wasn't stolen but is based on a relationship that went sour. Not my fault and not anything personal really. Just buisness, and somepeople understand that being good in a buisness means being good at buisness, not just your job. I know this fact but dont understand it.
But if I had a PDA and I could renember that I keep forgetting stuff then I would know to write it down. Takes effort I suppose and thats what stopped me from doing it before. But the USB chip meant a lot to me because it made me think, all the time. Like my ring, I touch it and just know my relationship with my wife is like the fingers on my hand, it is not a part of me. We are me, as are we. So if I get a PDA with the full intention and understanding that I absolutly must write everything down. And nightly or maybe weekly go over my notes and organize them. I think I need to keep a place for my peronsal thoughts too but I dont know if I would ever read them. Thats why I like it here because I dont have to read them yet it doesn't feel silly to write it and throw it away. So maybe if I become my personal pen pal, use my gmail account. Maybe in a couple hundred years they will be ressurected and my grandchildren will have something interesting to read. I know I'd love to read journals of my great grandfather. I have no idea what kind of person he was. So if I had a PDA that was born to me for the sole purpose of dealing with my memory problem. Maybe I would renember how serious my problem is and not question what I should write down. The hard part will just be organizing the thoughts afterwards but I think that will create some obvious benefits once I get around to it and I know that I am being productive. See thats the problem I'm getting older but dont really see productivity in my work. I think this issue is whats holding me back and will really try to handle it. I can start with my laptop, its a tablet you see so I can use it like a PDA if i'm mindfull of my battery life. Which reminds me, I can't find my digitizer for it. Which is starting to make me worry. You know.