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Journal viniosity's Journal: Ford Announces Hybrid SUV

Recently, Ford Motor Company introduced a hybrid SUV to placate the millions of people who despise the vehicles due to their terrible fuel economy. Companies like Whole Foods and Honest Tea are lining up to give them away no doubt as part of Fords strategy to cast the vehicles as environmentally friendly. Repeat after me: "It's not just about the fuel economy." SUVs are still evil and here's why.

First off, SUVs are hideously big. SUVs produced back in the early 90's now look miniature compared to the monstrosities we see on the roads today. One should ask whether it is really necessary to use 7000# of vehicle to carry 250# of people and groceries? Seems a bit ridiculous if you ask me. Also, let's not forget that when you drive behind a car that big the visibility you get is almost non-existent. It's as if the driver of the SUV is thumbing their nose at you, proclaiming that they are more deserving of safety than you.

But are SUVs safer? Not even close. In fact the death rate of SUV driver is 6% higher than that of car drivers. We must also touch on SUV rollover too. The higher center of gravity and greater mass of the vehicle makes it much more likely that your SUV will flip. Frankly, if you're in an SUV I think it serves you right, but unfortunately my tax dollars pay to have you shipped to the emergency room.

And what about my safety? Yes, that is a concern too. You see, if I get hit by somebody in an SUV I am four times more likely to be killed. The fact that the responsible one is killed by the selfish one is a long-standing tradition in wars fought by governments and corporations. It's a shame it's been brought down to the individual, human levels.

Despite not having touched on fuel economy or pollution standards, I feel there are still strong reasons not to buy an SUV. To those people who drive an SUV, I hope you get over your feelings of insecurity, gain some confidence, learn to think about other people, and buy a regular car next time.

What is algebra, exactly? Is it one of those three-cornered things? -- J.M. Barrie