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Journal TrollBack's Journal: Trollback for July 2004 16

editor's note: this posting delayed by 503 errors. cmdrtaco does not apologize for the inconvenience.

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Issue 22 "Spaceplane Zero" - July 2004 - Archive

Table of Contents
  • Trollback!
  • We've got Gmail!
  • Jews in Spaaaaaaaaaace!
  • The List [VOTE]
  • We're perverted!
  • Netcraft confirms it: USENET is dying
  • Failing it like a porn star
  • You dare to succeed?
  • I'd like a Meximelt and a Jackito, please
  • The "Moon": A Ridiculous Liberal Myth
  • Slashdot Gold
  • Lifetime Achievement Award
  • I, HBT
  • (secret)
  • Quickies


This July had some marvelous things to offer. Scantily clad young redheads! Stripping schoolgirls! Slashbots, however, are far more interested in arguing online - bad for them but GOOD FOR TROLLBACK! So without further ado, the Trollback editorial staff is proud to present our roundup for the month of July, 2004.

We've got Gmail!

For a solid gigabyte of righteous trolling feedback, we've decided to go with Gmail.NET as our single-source e-mail solutions provider. Give us a ring at trollback@gmail.com!

Jews in Spaaaaaaaaaaace!

We have to tip our collective hat to the ongoing efforts of Baldrson, who got his tidy little article about Spaceplane-2 posted to Slashdot's front page this month. As with his other front page stories, Baldrson also managed to get a link to his website included, featuring enthusiastic information about rocketry, science, racial superiority, the nonexistence of the Holocaust and some handy facts about how killing the Jews is a great idea, along with that fantastic mug shot. Congratulations go to Simoniker for upping the Pagerank(tm)(R) of one of America's premier Neonazi crackpots.

The List [VOTE]

Well here it is, this month's hand picked list of links, scored by an arbitrary closed-source mechanism we call Voodoo. Some of you may note that the number of direct replies to a comment as reported by Trollback is wildly different than the count reported in a user's comment summary. Is it whack? No, yuo. We've hand-checked this anomoly a number of times now, and believe it or not Slashdot's Perl scripts incorrectly count the number of direct replies. It's true. Keep in mind we also discount replies by the author of the post in question. We thought about reporting this bug but the last guy to try that hasn't gotten very far. In short: we're right, they're wrong, and nothing's new! Slashdot dealt everyone a straight flush this month by introducing a shit-flavored color scheme to match their content - and we've tinted our List to match. Enjoy.

458|(4,63,188,15%) Real Troll Talk | "Microsoft are lying to us"

People choose, replied Hachamovitch (IE lead engineer). Hundreds of millions of people actively use Windows and they get to choose. Nothing in Windows as it ships keeps them from downloading other software that extends their browsing experience (e.g. the Google or Ebay toolbars) or changes it (e.g. an alternative browser).No they don't. Maybe I do, but I'm a computer expert.My mom certainly has no clue that there even IS anything other than IE to use. Most of our mothers probably don [cont]...

  • 47AC, Awards:+142acct+3bust+7low+2acup+58mod

267|(5,5,122,31%) Sheetrock | "Isn't this illegal?"

I thought most (if not all) DVDs come with a warning about not being used for public performances.

  • 29AC, Awards:+93acct+3low+2acup+42mod

210|(5,28,85,22%) FortKnox | "Firefox"

Note that this does not mean that they are replacing IE with FireFox. Good, cause firefox has render problems on slashdot all the time (where as IE doesn't). I don't think its firefox, either, cause it doesn't happen on any other site I go to.

  • 15AC, Awards:+70acct+2low+1bab+18mod

185|(0,17,78,23%) britneys 9th husband | "Careful"

We humans aren't going to have any immunity to these microbes that have been isolated for 500000 years. I hope whoever's studying these lakes takes appropriate precautions against both accidental release and theft by terrorist organizations.

  • 10AC, Awards:+68acct+1bust+1bab+30mod

171|(3,34,62,18%) Real Troll Talk | "This is great because it's Google"

Nothing was greater than when Google bought out Delphi and took over the largest USENET archive of all-time.Google always does things the right way without ruining the user experience or their wallets.In Google We Trust...(P.S. I have three Gmail invites anyone up for one -- I already gave away 5 to friends/family?)

  • 17AC, Awards:+45acct+5bust+1low+26mod

161|(0,9,89,7%) bje2 | "Re:Old Ben said it best"

Except that in Ben's time people weren't flying airplanes into skyscrapers...

  • 24AC, Awards:+66acct+1bust+4low+22mod

152|(-1,20,74,6%) Squeezer | "whats the problem with the patriot act?"

i don't see what the problem is. there haven't been any cases of abuse. if you don't want to be spied upon, then don't do suspicious things. how has the patriot act directly affected you?

  • 31AC, Awards:+43acct+1bust+2low+1acup+15mod

128|(5,17,48,6%) circletimessquare | "i didn't like the demonization of fusion"

i liked the movie, but i did not like the demonization of fusion in spider man iiin a world of smog and wars fought over oil prices (pro-iraq war people: read why iraq invaded kuwait, anti-iraq war people: read why us invaded iraq) we do not need an ultra-pop movie demonizing one of the few technologies which could save us from the petroleum agein spider man ii, fusion can go chernobyl, this is a fallacyif something goes wrong with a fusion reaction, it just fizzles out, it can NE [cont]...

  • 12AC, Awards:+36acct+7low+13mod

125|(2,6,66,12%) Milo of Kroton | "Why Censor?"

Really, is only naked women or men. In Mozilla Firebird, I have setted it to Block images from goat.cx (not visit!) and if my kids pictures of naked people find, fine. I did as child. I run linux but don't need this. As friend said You Americans are so puritanical!

  • 22AC, Awards:+44acct+4low+14mod

121|(-1,9,49,26%) Anonymous Coward | "Obligatory"

But as both the company behind this TDA, Novinit, and myself are French, I decided to investigate You misspelled surrender.

  • 15AC, Awards:+34acct+1bust+3low+15mod

108|(5,8,50,26%) Real Troll Talk | "I don't believe the news anymore these days"

How can we TRUST the big bully corporations to tell us the truth?After F9/11, I just don't trust anyone with $ any more.

  • 19AC, Awards:+31acct+1low+1acup+16mod

93|(5,15,29,15%) Exmet Paff Daxx | "I remain: Unafraid, Undeterred."

Mod me down as troll, but I'm about to speak the truth. Ubiquitous surveillance? There are cameras covering every inch of the city I walk in. Massive government analysis? A huge database called MATRIX contains all my financial and medical records, searchable by federal agents. I have to give my SSN, despite the law, to every two-bit huckster who asks for it, to buy a house, a car, a plane ticket, you name it.And you know what? I don't care. Because I've made a choice to deal with this [cont]...

  • 10AC, Awards:+19acct+3low+11mod

62|(5,11,27,6%) Anonymous Coward | "Actually Tolkien was a Genius, read on..."

Here's a brief explanation for beginners of Tolkien's mythology and worldscape: Q: Is LoTR really based on Christian Mythology?A: Yes. Tolkien wanted to demonstrate that even the mentally and physically challenged were capable of success and that therefore we should love everyone, regardless of their defects.Q: So who represents the mentally and physically challenged?A: Well obviously the hobbits are the physically challenged ones here, but the central mentally challenged figure i [cont]...

  • 10AC, Awards:+18acct+2low+5mod

56|(-1,9,24,11%) Anonymous Coward | "Huh?"

How do you make money in a job working on a free operating system? Just wondering.

  • 9AC, Awards:+16acct+9mod

55|(2,14,27,8%) Lover's Arrival, The | "Help"

I have gentoo on my computer. You might think this is good, but its bad. My ex-boyfriend was a big gentoo-lover, in fact he was a developer for it or something. But now he's left me, and all that's left of him are some books and the impact he made on my computer.I would love to be able to use linux more, I am taking a course in community college and my boyfriend was wonderful for helping me out with that but when I told him that I hated him developing for gentoo all the time (he even f [cont]...

  • 17AC, Awards:+10acct+5mod

55|(1,9,23,2%) Sheetrock | "Space science isn't something you can do in a jar."

I was just thinking about this today during my ruminescing aboutthe crazy and sometimes haphazard ways in which spaceflight and NASA has returned benefits to our society against adversity from folks not unlike Van Allen. In it's own way, this is comparable to the battleagainst entrenched interests that new theories must undergo beforethey become the accepted norm.Take, for example, the struggle of Galileo against the church topermit society to recognize the fact that the world is roun [cont]...

  • 5AC, Awards:+18acct+1low+7mod

51|(2,4,28,12%) Viol8 | "Spaceship One isn't even a space ship"

Its an aircraft with a rocket motor attached. Real spaceships can't use wings to slow themselves down and manuouveaure because there is no air to do it in! I'm sorry if I sound churlish but this whole enterprise to me smacks more of someones ego than anything practical. When they've solved the problems of manourveuring in a vacuum , long duration human life support (an O2 cylinder doesn't really count) , proper re-entry from near orbital speeds (which are required for any useful f [cont]...

  • 4AC, Awards:+24acct+5mod

48|(4,8,20,4%) 91degrees | "The DMCA explicitely permits reverse engineering"

I have no idea why people who haven't even read the legislation keep making comments that are plain incorrect. The only time reverse engineering is illegal under the DMCA is when it is used for making infringing copies.

  • 3AC, Awards:+17acct+1low+5mod

47|(-1,8,18,7%) BWJones | "It's about the music....."

I've been watching this whole thing unfold for some time now and paid attention to the overtures Real was making to Apple some time ago. Basically issue here is that the folks who designed the iPod and the iTunes music store really cared about the music, whereas Real is concerned with making money by delivering media rather than caring anything about the media per se. Let me repeat that for the folks at Real........It's about the music.

  • 3AC, Awards:+15acct+1low+1acup+9mod

46|(1,6,21,9%) AvantLegion | "Die already!"

What's your problem, CS?It's way past time to die!BSD died nice and gracefully - why won't you go? Are you too good for your destiny?

  • 2AC, Awards:+19acct+8mod

46|(-1,8,25,5%) The Pim | "tall tales"

In 1996, he developed a solar-powered pump powerful enough to lift water from wells up to 20 metres deep. His invention is widely used in his home province of Wardak and the neighbouring province of Logar as well.One atmosphere of pressure is about 10 meters of water. You can't pump water any higher than that. I smell exaggeration.

  • 10AC, Awards:+15acct+6mod

46|(0,10,22,7%) Exmet Paff Daxx | "Re: Killing Muslims"

Just kill some muslims and take their oil! They'll only use it for terrorism anyway!I'm pretty sure the parent post was meant as a joke, but this is actually a serious business. The reason for this guy's adventure, and other adventures into alternative energy sources, is very real: Prince Bandar and his Saudi friends are currently in control of America via a proxy named George Bush. If you've seen Farenheit 9/11 you know what I'm talking about. At last night's convention John Kerry add [cont]...

  • 9AC, Awards:+13acct+5mod

45|(-1,6,24,5%) CatKnight | "WMD"

Great, now we have yet another form of weapon of mass destruction. Terrorists could cook up a batch of prions and dump it in a water or food supply, thus killing off lots of people a short period of time later. Ahh, the miracles of modern science.

  • 5AC, Awards:+19acct+1bust+9mod

43|(-1,7,19,5%) Noose For A Neck | "Burt Rutan does not matter."

You know what really irritates me these days is the sheer pomposity of the name SpaceShip One. Hello? It's not a spaceship. It's an airplane. They did not even get close to entering orbit. They have done nothing to solve the re-entry problem. It's an (ugly-looking) airplane with a rocket strapped to the back that can't even take off on its own power.So why is Burt Rutan suddenly the go-to guy for all things space-related - what's he going to do, drop payloads off in the high atmos [cont]...

  • 4AC, Awards:+15acct+6mod

41|(5,4,28,3%) AKAImBatman | "Work harder"

Personally, I download Open Source software. Warez and Crackz are great for teenagers, but I don't really have time or energy for this stuff. If an Open Source piece of software does the job, I'll use it. If only a commerical piece of software does the job, I'll buy it. Unfortuately for software makers, I'm buying less and less. Either the product has to be REALLY good, or it has to do something no other product does. e.g. My last few purchases were WMA Recorder, PalmBasket, and Budget [cont]...

  • 11AC, Awards:+17acct+2mod

32|(-1,5,9,7%) Anonymous Coward | "I'm so lonely"

It's been almost two months since graduation, and I'm still living on campus, by myself, in a hundred twenty square foot single. I haven't left the building in more than three weeks. Perhaps the Chinese delivery place will wonder why I stopped calling. More likely, they won't even notice, and wouldn't care if they did. My so-called friends packed up and left without saying goodbye, and the only phone call I've answered since then was a wrong number; the other party hung up immedia [cont]...

  • 4AC, Awards:+5acct+2bust+2low+5mod

30|(5,8,13,6%) Sheetrock | "BOINC has issues..."

We've tried deploying BOINC before for distributed biologic research on our internal workstations to create an informal cluster of sorts, with dissatisfying results. While BOINC is considered the provolone cheese of the distributed computing industry, we found that it behaves in a somewhat inconsistent manner.For one thing, on most of the workstations BOINC would appear to work very quickly on the data only to crash out well before the computation was created. Indeed, sometimes it wo [cont]...

  • 4AC, Awards:+9acct+3mod

25|(4,6,13,4%) Milo of Kroton | "It do Work here"

Government can't switch to Linux or even free software, people say. Well, such has done München (Munich you say) here in my country. I am professional involved with some of people who are with the project involved, and it is as they are accorded going smooth move, exlax as you Americans say.

  • 9AC, Awards:+4acct+3mod

21|(3,6,11,1%) Dozix007 | "Many ways to get around GPL"

There are sadly many ways to get around GPL. One being the method they use by offering to ship the source only. This can be done in many different shapes to get around anything. You simply charge an irrate fee for packaging, documentation, or something of the sort. There are a few liscences that will not allow this, sadly they are not widely used.

  • 5AC, Awards:+6acct+1mod

20|(0,6,11,1%) the_2nd_coming | "Re:P3 CPUs?"

umm, you have a Xeon system based off the P3, not a P3 duely since the P3 is incapable of duel proc setups.

  • 8AC, Awards:+3acct+3mod

20|(5,1,6,1%) Sheetrock | "Proof that technology (not legislation) works."

Part of the secret to the success of the Internet is in allowing unfettered communication between endpoints. While I am to some degree concerned about the technical approach to solving the spam problem, because of the collateral consequences it may have, it does not raise the spectre of 1st Amendment violation that anti-spam legislation does.That Microsoft is taking part is to their credit. Finally the Internet at large is going to actually try to apply a solution to spam at the sour [cont]...

  • 1AC, Awards:+5acct+2low+1mod

14|(2,5,6,3%) trifakir | "cDc and 2600"

Cool, all the old geeks. I shall admit that I've always been sympathetic to the cause of the good hackers who fight for freedom of speach and all these liberties, many of your ancestors had died for...But on the other side, I wonder where is now and for them the border of what is allowed and what is not. Is this hackers ethics they define something too murky or it is non-existing at all? How do we prevent the proceedings about the Distributed Password Cracking API from their confe [cont]...

  • 2AC, Awards:+4acct+1mod

The GNAA is there!

Last month's GNAA coup involved getting some interesting screenshots posted on a couple high-profile Mac sites, promoting plenty of... discussion. For firsthand coverage visit the official GNAA press releases here and here.

We're perverted!

One of the best "trolling definitions" ever seen popped up here:

Sometimes trolls feel that they serve a community purpose, by shaking things up, stirring up discussion, playing the DevilsAdvocate, by being the CourtJesters, but they really aren't. They are a perversion of all those purposes.

In short, folks, you'd be better off if editor moderation on Slashdot was still a secret. For our part, we're pretty impressed that a site which encourages ignoring trolls has devoted nearly an entire book to the subject of trolls.

Netcraft confirms it: USENET is dying

All the same, an alert reader pointed out that the fish are still biting.

Failing it like a porn star

Note to would-be trollerization specialists: when scraping the bottom of the barrel with that random right-wing crapflood, don't paste your real username in when posting AC. Real or faked, it's funny either way.

Update: Trollback investigates. This cache appears to show that OverlordQ was a Slashdot subscriber as of May, 2004, predating this comment (which includes a link to subscribe). We find this highly inconclusive, not to mention insulting - giving money to Rob Malda is totally unacceptable - but as always, the final decision belongs to our dear readers. HTH, HAND.

You dare to succeed?

Trollback enjoyed the treatment of a capitalist trying to make money by patenting his invention when he tried to post to Slashdot. Stuff that matters to people who don't? Almost certainly.

I'd like a Meximelt and a Jackito, please

Is it real? Is it a plane? Is it a French Fraud or a Freedom Swindle? Trollback isn't taking bets, but we'd totally fail it if we didn't mention Michael's dangerous liasons with a very shady weblog and its assertion that the escrow paramid built on the "Jackito TDA" is too legit to quit. It's a fraud!. No it's not!. Yes it is! Huh? They've posted a low resolution movie of an oversize grayscale mockup prototype of the device, and that's proof enough for us.

The "Moon": A Ridiculous Liberal Myth

It's true. Now you and other god-fearing Americans can fight back with this commemorative T-shirt. Let's see how those gun grabbers like it when we blow their observation platform clear out of the sky.

Slashdot Gold!

For this month's blast from the past, we thought we'd rally the party faithful with one of the best documented examples of outright lying from Slashteam. Jamie McCarthy used his iron wit to lay the smack down with a fearsome Simpsons reference a few years back when denying that he wrote the censorware code in Slash. You doubt the Trollback? Check the author of comments.pl(line 522), the portion of Slashcode that halts posting based on some very questionable "math". But is it Censorware? Jamie confirms it - Censorware!!

Lifetime Achievement Award

While Mike Miller is certainly on the road to greatness in trolling, it's well past time we honored Michael Moore for a lifetime of successful trolling. Fat, ugly, and wildly rich, Moore's romp past $100 million in bites shows a rich flair for capitalism, karma whoring and specious reasoning. Without even mentioning brand name biters such as Guiliani, we feel pretty safe in saying that Michael's Voodoo is permanently off the map. In his recent book, "Stupid White Men", Moore asserted that because of the assymetrical opportunity structure in place in America he would never hire anyone who wasn't black ever again. We're not entirely sure, but Trollback suspects that this marked the birth of the GNAA.


A monumental work of trolling hit the box office this weekend as director Alex Proyas released his Isaac Asimov "adaptation" to the enjoyment of ignorant buffoons nationwide. Asimov spent his entire lifetime creating a world of fiction in which robots were not the dystopic, soulless horrors of his contemporaries but rather a failsafe, harmless aid to mankind. Since Asimov had invested forty years of his life facing off against literary technophobia, Proyas saw fit to honor him with a movie based on Asimov's books in which evil, murderous robots controlled by a central hive-mind engage in a terrifying quest to enslave mankind. Released to general acclaim and the muted background death-shriek of Asimov fanboys everywhere, Proyas's feat establishes him as the newest Fresh Prince of Hollywood trolling. Well done, Alex.

A license to steal

You've made it to the end of Trollback! For our faithful readers, we have a gift. Ever tried to read the darling magazine of granola munchers everywhere, Salon , but been stopped short by their draconian money-grubbing subscription scheme? Trollback has no idea how a communist magazine like Salon could be so craven as to attempt such a capitalist undertaking, but we intend to set them straight. Right then: http://www.salon.com/news/cookie.html. Visiting that URL gives you the "free day pass" cookie, opening all content on the site for 24 hours if you accept the cookie. Three cheers for bad web design! Four cheers for Trollback!


Trollback apologizes for missing this total gem in May, A license to cyber-surf, the total nonexistence of piracy, retarded Slashbot loose in Best Buy, USENET troll kicks Hawking ass, the stench of death, Slashdot's ASCII filter performing admirably, proof that Mozilla developers bumble security holes too, the return of the ring, and the return of the Apple thing, and not truly a troll but we liked the use of "Gay AIDS" and Caps Lock.

That's it for this month. As always, email your links to trollback at gmail dot com. Subscribe to Trollback Magazine by befriending; Slashdot will notify you of upcoming issues! And please remember,

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Trollback for July 2004

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1 1 was a race-horse, 2 2 was 1 2. When 1 1 1 1 race, 2 2 1 1 2.