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Journal nuwayser's Journal: Sean Jaeger Campbell: 7/21/97-6/13/04

from my journal:

June 16, 2004 - on the subway to Bethesda

sean campbell died sunday night. he went to uuca. can't believe I looked right at him the same day. he was hit by a bus in Mt. Vernon at around 8pm.

he was 5 weeks away from his seventh birthday.

I feel like I've been punched in the stomach.

I have no idea what to say to the kids.

by the age of six he had endured more than you could ask any kid to endure. he was abandoned by his mother and left with a pimp when he was just one year old. At two he survived heart surgery. He had multiple ear infections, ADHD, bad eyesight, learning delays... but he was always having fun. Sometimes he came on a bit too strong, sometimes he wouldn't share or he would hit or yell... just like any other kid. I knew him since he was three or so. he was a little nutty but otherwise was a good kid. I played with him once while his father was doing something else.

it's not fucking fair!!!!!!!! somebody else decided his number was up?

Sean went to my church. I'd known him since he was three. He sometimes played with my kids in the playground after service.

in Tuesdays with Morrie, Morrie says,

"Everybody knows they're going to die, but nobody believes it."

I mentioned this to my therapist while talking about Sean's death, and he replied,

"That's too easy."

No parent *ever* expects or believes their kids will die before they do.

Got kids? Hug them and tell them you love them every day.

The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos. -- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981