- MOM: Shouting does NOT somehow reinforce or bolster the signal to or from your mobile phone when you're in an area with less-than-ideal service! It will NOT allow me to hear you any better!
Please note that some may dispute this claim before realizing they have confused the definition of "better" with the definition of "louder"
All it will do is make me wince in pain when the signal *IS* good enough to allow your voice to be transmitted over the line, because I'm already crunching the handset through my skull in an attempt to make out the alarm code you're trying to tell me while you drive through the most desolate span of underdeveloped terrain left on the continent.
- DAD: Read the paragraph to Mom and remove the part about the alarm code, and insert something about taking care of your dog, or anything else, really. THEN assume the rest of it is meant for you.
- BOTH of you: If I have not heard or comprehended what you've said, repeat it in a normal voice. You have a digital phone that is either a one or a zero. On or off. Signal or not. It will not become more useful if you increase the volume of the sound you are attempting to send. You cannot make a bigger one or a bigger zero, and even if you could, my chances of receiving that one or zero will not have changed. Please remember this when you're chatting with your respective spouses, any of my step siblings, anyone else, or above all, ME. I can't believe that after so much hearing loss, I can still experience actual physical pain while using the damn phone.
I'm entirely too busy for this; I should not be crowding my already overstuffed schedule with a post that's mostly w(h)ine. But this is so frustrating it will bug me for an hour, further distracting me if I don't get it off my chest, and I know this rant was MUCH quicker than even walking upstairs to enjoy an actual physical real live human shoulder. *sniff*
Sometimes I miss the good ol' analog days.