Journal thelasttemptation's Journal: Loneliness... 4
This is a odd one, I'm wondering about you guys for once. I'm wondering about loneliness. Here's my questions:
1. Are you lonely?
1a. Why? Why not?
2. Do you have friends near where you live?
2a. If not, do you wish you did?
2b. If so, would you move away from them for a better job? What would it take for you to move away from them?
3. How do you stop the loneliness?
4. Do you get depressed when your lonely?
any other thoughts feel free to share.
Thank you for asking. (Score:3, Insightful)
No. I used to be, but i'm not anymore.
1a. Why? Why not?
I decided that i'd better get used to the idea of being alone, because it happens to everybody sometimes. And i'd rather get able to deal with it now than suddenly at 40, or 60, or 90...
so i lived alone. Really alone, no cat or anything, for a little while. Everyone should do this at least once, it changes things. And then i got my kitten from mum's, and we've been happy since. I'm not lonely because i love, and if you can care about others, you lose the sense of loneliness. You also get the feeling that you're loved enough if you work at it. I have good friends and family who love me, and i work to cultivate my friendships. I call friends to tell them that i care about them. You don't have to be an extrovert to be involved in people's lives.
I always tell people to start by volunteering, that nothing makes you feel loved enough like reading to kids in a homeless shelter. Things like that. Making a positive difference in someone's life changes yours. This country, the US, perpetuates this image that we cannot possibly be happy unless we're in a relationship, but the truth is that a relationship by itself is not enough to keep someone from loneliness...
2. Do you have friends near where you live?
Some. Not many. None in the same town, except for an ex who doesn't speak to me often. But in the same city, at least.
2a. If not, do you wish you did?
2b. If so, would you move away from them for a better job? What would it take for you to move away from them?
Maybe. Definitely if i needed to for my health, and i'm considering doing so. The internet is one way to stay in touch. A lot of my friends are far away already, though...
3. How do you stop the loneliness?
See 1a. Then come back and ask me more specific questions. You have to hit loneliness at the root.
4. Do you get depressed when your lonely?
Yes, of course. Who doesn't? But i don't get depressed when ALONE, just those times when i'm lonely. And i'm not afraid to call around till i find someone to talk to, and i'm not afraid to go meet strangers online to talk about things, and i'm not afraid to be lonely until i'm not anymore, because i've done it before and it hasn't done me in. Loneliness is hard, but it's rarely permanent in self-aware people...
any other thoughts feel free to share.
-hm. Thank you for asking, and i hope you aren't lonely.
subgeek answers (Score:1)
1a. Why? Why not? - i'm married. it makes things easier. there are times when i want to be alone, mostly because i'm more introverted than extraverted. but i'm not lonely.
2. Do you have friends near where you live? - yes. my wife lives in my house. i'm friends with my family. my parents and my sisters all live around this area. other than that i have a small group of friends here, but i'm only really close to two of them. most of my good friends live in different parts aro
Re: (Score:2)
Lonliness (Score:2)
Nope, not at all
1a. Why? Why not?
Girlfriend, friends, officiating, work, being way too busy
2. Do you have friends near where you live?
During the summer everyone is in town, it's great I have all my close friends right here. During the school year they're spread out but I still have good friends here.
2b. If so, would you move away from them for a better job? What would it take for you to move away from them?
My biggest concern in life is being happy. If I thought moving would