mcgrew's Journal: Nobots Chapter Twenty Six

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That was one wild party on Zeta Reticuli. I don't remember very much of it, except the atmosphere there does something weird when you're stratodoobing.

We picked up Rula and Rority, and Rority stopped for beer in 1999, Rority saying something about an old woman who had something for him.

Real Audio frags Quake
        The third Fragfest Quake Real Audio Show is finished, since I seem to have run out of drive space and had to uninstall a couple of games to get the .wav to fit. I should have it in RA format and uploaded in a day or two. There are a couple of musicians whose music you won't hear, since they don't do Quake music; Nooze about the Mystery Page on Gameplex; AND- we hear from "Mr. Desiato's Bodyguard" and some British gentleman who the bodyguard is threatening. Speaking of Desiato, skip the Fragfest show, Spew's coming up on show #100. If my math is right, that ought to be Friday. Don't miss that one. Blue's promised a "Shooters" this weekend as well, the first in a while. Shooters, the show you need a link to find- Plug "shooters" into any search engine, and you get "shooters.com", a gun club page.
        For those of you who feel bad because you're playing Quake instead of keeping abreast of current events (what? you mean there are current events OUTSIDE Quake???), don't miss Sgt. Hulka, cuz YOU BEEN DRAFTED. Now, gimme twenty. Then run this message from Col. Thirtytwo to General Protectionfault. Doubletime, dammit 2/2/1999

AOL does... a.......back............flip in..to......the...........
        There's a fellow right here in Illinois that's having a hell of a time playing deathmatch. I've had quite a few emails back and forth trying to get him connected good. When he first wrote, he couldn't connect at all. He's on, but the lowest ping he can get is 380, and that's connecting through GameSpy. He's out in the sticks (Stonington, a little bitty town thirty miles from nowhere) so he may be stuck with AOL.
        I've heard that AOL really sucks playing Quake. If you're on AOL, I'd appreciate a note letting me know of your experiences with that much maligned ISP. Is it as bad as I've heard? Does it suck for everybody? I'd especially like a note if you can get a decent ping with it. (1998)

A.O.L. frags Y.O.U.
        I got an answer by email about the "does AOL suck for Quake" question, and the answer seems to be a resounding "yes". Lots of people saying it, but only one answer. 2/2/1999

Beach house can't escape Arsonist's Flamethrower
        No, not Flamethrower, who updated today (and you'll be tripping on your own grenade if you don't see it now), A flamethrower.
        Word has reached the Fragfest that an unidentified group of arsonists have hatched a plot to destroy Tikki God's Quake Beach house. The beach house, rumored vacant since November, houses a large store of cordite, TNT, plastique, dynamite, one or two small nuclear devices, and a shambler.
        The authorities have suspected the Beach house of harboring fugitives, but word at the beach house is "Joost hasn't been here since September".
        The mayor has been trying to have the house condemned since its appearance, but can't get the housing inspector past the BFG and shambler. When informed of the plot, the police whipped out a large urn of coffee and several hundred donuts and threw a party.
        I dropped by to ask if the beach house was indeed going to be torched, and why.
[beach house] Who is it, man?
[Fragfest] It's Steve
[beach house] Steve's not here
[fragfest] No, I'm Steve
[beach house] Steve's not here either.
[Fragfest] Hey, Tikki, open up!
[beach house] Tikki's not here.
[Fragfest] Dammit, Nacho, open the fraggin' door!
[beach house] Shambler, get the door, man
so I think I'll drop by tomorrow and use the window instead. 2/4/1999

Gameplex sank like a rock
        Hulka's does a back flip into the lava
        Wow, the internet sucks. Hulka's and Spew, over at Hulka's Army, have been down for a couple of days. And "Gameplex is closed for reconstruction".
        This really sucks. Desiato's coming up on show 100! 2/4/1999

Nacho can't escape Granny's Shotgun
        I met a strange old woman as I was trying to get in to Tikki's beach house (see yesterday's post), a charming elderly British lady who informed me "Those feckers can really burn 'em down. Blimey, I wish me Neil would buy that bloody much!", and I have no idea who she was or what she was talking about. I assume she was selling ordinance, since she said something about how many shot guns Nacho took.
        I didn't see the shot guns, Nacho must have had them in the gun rack already. The smell of lamp oil, candle wax, gunpowder, Incense, and something I couldn't put my finger on hung in the air. I opened a beer.
        It seems the beach house isn't "scheduled" for "demolition" after all. Instead, it will be the 1999 Slipgate Central. On March 9th, a sign will be hung outside proclaiming "Haste does not bring success", and a fireworks display will be set off- inside the beach house. In the ordinance room. Thousands of Quake sites will have a "search for Quake" combo box that will lead to Tikki's "Haste does not bring success" sign.
        Three trucks loaded with frankfurters and marshmallows are scheduled to arrive at the beach house by next month, as well as tankers carrying rum, tequila, and beer.
        Tikki will be moving in to "Nacho Extreme (because all the other pages have extreme in the title)" as a reviewer. Nacho Extreme is the mystery page I referred to, housed in the penthouse of the Game Complex. It's still not done. Nacho says, "Ok, the site will be up eventually. But, being the lazy ass I am, 90% of my time is being taken up by this: If you want, let people know I'm lazy, but have a treat in store for them. Btw, I think tikki is gonna set the beach house on fire.
        "Also, the game I'm playing is getting better. So, I won't be stopping till I finish. =)"
        Volume 3 of the Fragfest Real Audio show has been finished since last weekend. I've kept from putting it up since (a) I mention Nacho's page which was supposed to be done last weekend and (b) Spew is supposed to have show l00 tonight. Desiato (whose bodyguard is heard in the Fragfest's show) said last week show 100 would be something special- and Hulka, his host, has been down all week. So we haven't seen show 99 yet, and 100 may be delayed. But I'm posting show 3 any way. As the old English lady would say, "feck it".

Planet's "spider" frags pages
        Gestalt promised something "better than Slipgate", and it's up. It's Game Spyder. Right now there are 1600+ entries. 108 of them are Quake sites (compared to Quakeport's 800+ Quake sites). I searched for several of my favorite sites at GameSpyder, and could only find one (Planet Quake).
        It is better than Slipgate, because Slipgate died last March.
        It's nowhere near as good as Quakeport. All of my favorite sites are listed in Quakeport, not a single one (except Gamespyder's host) on gamespyder. Plus, when I tried it out, Gamespyder was gawdoffal slow at not finding any of my favorite sites. 2/5/1999

Yello frags grannys Yello There
        I received this ransom note yesterday: "Yet another delightfully strange update.............
        I'm keeping your granny..........
        Neil........."
        And on the subject of Yello grannies, Desiato says he doesn't have a bodyguard, and may have show 100 done by Monday. 2/6/1999

W4r3z3rz frag Steve
        I keep getting email asking me to send full versions of games. I don't really know that these folks are looking for w2r3z, so I always assume they're not. At any rate, Quake 2's 400 megs would make internet w4r3zing impractical at best. Any way, you can get demos and patches from the Get Quake page. If you can't tear yourself away from the computer long enough to drive down and buy Quake 2, you can get a copy from Amazon.com. 2/7/1999