icovellauna's Journal: Christmas

It will not be a white Christmas here. It's fifty degrees and raining. That's ok with me.I think snow is over rated when it's in my driveway anyway.
Songs of the season. We like to sing at my house, but when you've sung the same thing twelve times, it's time for a change, so here's one we made up while the Dragon was a child:

The first thing of Christmas that really bothers me
Is cats running up and down the tree

The second thing of Christmas that really bothers me
All these blessed lights
and cats running up and down the tree
The third thing of Christmas that really bothers me
three AM wake ups
all these blessed lights
and cats running up and down the tree

the fourth thing of Christmas that really bothers me
Something's in my stocking!
Three AM wakeups
All these blessed lights
and cats running up and down the tree
The fifth thing of Christmas that really bothers me
Five inches of snow
Somethings in my stocking
Three AM wakeups
Now the lights are blinking!
and cats running up and down the tree

The sixth thing of Christmas that really bothers me
Six solid fruit cakes
Five inches of snow
Quick, someone kill it!
All these blessed lights
and cats running up and down the tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that really bothers me
Seven secret santas
See, it is the same one, I carved my initials in the bottom last year,
Five inches of snow,
Something's in my stocking
Three Am wake ups
Half the string won't light!
and cats running up and down the tree.

The eighth thing at Christmas that really bothers me
Eight Christmas Specials
Seven Secret Santas
Six solid fruit cakes
Five inches of snow
Let the cats get at it!
Three AM wake ups
Don't put the lights there!
And cats running up and down the tree.

The nineth thing at Christmas that really bothers me is
Nine nasty neighbors
Eight Christmas grumble grumble grumble
Seven Secret Whats?
I could drive nails with it
Five inches of snow
I'm not touching it!
Three AM wakeups
Just put 'em on the tree!
And cats running up and down the tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that really bothers me
Ten thrilling touch downs
Nine nasty neighbors
Seven Secret Santas
Lets throw it off the roof!
I'm not gonna shovel!
It's still in there
Don't even think it!
All these blessed lights
And cats running up and down the tree

The eleventh thing at Christmas that really bothers me
Eleven extra innings
You know I don't like football
We could just get even
Just turn the TV off
We can send it to Aunt Betty
I'm not gonna shovel
But that was my stocking!
Three in the morning!
Can the star go on the top?
And cats running up and down the tree

The twelveth thing at Christmas that really bothers me
Twelve covered dishes
Eleven extra innings
Ten thrilling touch downs
I guess we could invite them
We could make 'em watch the specials!
Let's get the Santas in one place
Make em eat the fruit cake!
Still not gonna shovel
I think it ate my candy
Three Am wakeups
All these blessed lights
Quick catch it the tree is falling down!
Or, on a more pleasant note a different set of words:
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

A Parsnip in a Pear tree

On the second day of Christmas my truelove gave to me
Two Turtle soups
and a parsnip in a pear tree
On the third day:
Three French Toasts
Four Curried Birds
Five Pineapple Rings
Six Goose egg omelettes
Seven Swans in Gravy
Eight Ice Creams melting
Nine Sauces Steaming
Ten tiny truffles
Eleven Pies a piping
Twelve dozen Danish

And one developed by the Dragon's brother, if memory serves me right. To the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen:

The restroom door said 'gentlemen' and so I walked inside
I took two steps and realized I'd been taken for a ride
I turned around to find out that the place was occupied
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse
What could be worse
then two nuns, three old ladies, and a nurse?

The restroom door said 'gentlemen'; it must have been a joke
the room was lined with mirrors and the perfume made me choke
a lady smacked me with her bag and gave my ribs a poke
and the nuns were creeping up on either side
Oh how I cried
And the nuns were creeping up on either side.

The restroom door said 'gentlemen' it must have been a gag
she sprayed me with her can of mace and hit me with her bag
So who would give a license for a gun to this old hag
It wasn't turning out to be my day
what can I say?
It just wasn't turning out to be my day!

The restroom door said 'gentlemen' and I'd sure like to find
the crummy little creep who had the nerve to switch the sign
'cause I've got two black eyes and I've been kicked in my behind
And I can't sit in comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
No I just can't sit in comfort and joy.

Merry Christmas everybody

Nice.

[TechnoLust]

I know you aren't Southern Baptist, ;-) but there are a couple of songs that I remember from church that a friend of mine changed the words to when she was little. One of them was supposed to be "Now let us have a little talk with Jesus, let us tell him all about our troubles..." She changed it to, "Now let us have a little chocolate Jesus, let us tell him all about our truffles..." I don't know the rest, but I believe she was given "a stern look" on several occasions for that one. :-)

Re:Nice.

[icovellauna]

Then there's the one that goes:Mine ices are the glory of the ladies on the stage, They are older and they're younger and they never seem to age, they have loosed their strings and garters and they should be in a cage, but they just keep dancing on. You know the tune to that if you say it out loud. Then there's one that is real(I think), but comes out of my childhood so I'm not too sure that goes like this: "Noah was a fisherman, so goes the bible tale, He had the grave misfortune to be swallowed by a whale

Re:Nice.

[TechnoLust]

She was a preacher's daughter.
Yeah, I learned to stay away from those! ;-)