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Journal VonGuard's Journal: My Supposed Love Affair with Steve Jobs

Well then. Things are rolling right along now. While at the beginning of the day yesterday I was quite depressed at the relative lack of movement, response, and motivation of those I was calling and relying on, as the day progressed, some of them came out of their seeming torpor and actually advanced my ego a bit.

At first, I was calling Karen Cho at Apple on Friday. She called back on Saturday, and I called her on Monday. Finally, she got through to me on Monday afternoon and said "Burlingame." I said, eh, no thanks. I have other offers. And it's fucking true. I don't have to take that kind of bullshit just to work at Apple.

So then she says that the guy who interviewed me, who's name I have forgotten, liked me, wanted to hire me, but was worried that I would email Steve Jobs with any problems I was having. What?! Huh?

OK, story time. 1999, MacWorld NY. Stevie Boy is up on stage talking about

So Steve Jobs is talking about and how great it is, and how the new G3 Blue and White comes with all sorts of neat stuff, but the modem is optional. Then he mentions that he has as his email address. So, after the whole thing is over I run up to the base of the stage to try and meet him, but he's all swamped by people. I do, however, get right up behind him. I stumble, then I accidently step on the back of his foot, the same sort of way you'd step on a friend's heel to remove his shoe while walking.

Anyway, I left and enjoyed the rest of the show then. Won fabulous prizes, ate good food, sat through endless product demos. MacHome was a cool place to work, but it was boring as hell sometimes.

So I go home to MD for a brief break. While there, I email Stevie boy and say "Don't get rid of modems, we still need them. I stepped on your foot at the Keynote. Sorry."

Well, I was just sort of grasping at straws there. But anyway, the next day, I get an email back from him that says simply "It didn't hurt."

I just about lost my shit. Very funny, I thought.

Anyway, I told this story to the guy who interviewed me, as well as mentioning that I emailed Steve about an iMovie problem and a Textedit problem I had. What do ya want from me? I'm a powerless dork these days, no media outlet in the MacWorld, no luck with the Apple inroads! So when I lost a 10 minute film I was making because iMovie crashed and burned, I emailed Steve! Hey, a week after I emailed him about it, a patch was released!

I'm not claiming I made them fix iMovie, but it's fun to pretend.

Anyway, this guy I interviewed with was terrified of this story. he doesn't want me to work with him because he's afraid I would be emailing Steve about things that bother me at work. Right, like I would do that. I'm not an asshole nor am I an idiot.

At least, I hope I'm not.

Anyway, I explained this to Karen and she said that there would be a possible job at the Apple store, so she'd go and find out then get back to me.

I think it will come through. There are three people involved in this process, Karen Cho, Aimee Hamilton (Director of HR), and this store manager dude. Karen loves me, Aimee got a reference about me from her favorite bartender and so she loves me too. This dude is the only thing standing in the way.

I don't want to make it sound like I won't get along with him or like I will be some sort of hotshot and ignore him or disrespect him, but this is a tad silly. He's covering his ass before the store even opens.

Naturally, if they hire me, they won't even know what hit them. I'll make that fucking store into a mecca of geek advice the likes of which has never been seen before.

But then again, if they tell me to fuck off, so what. I'll go edit Mobile PC mag. That;'d be just as much fun and would give me a chance to play with lots of cool, free hardware.

Let the bidding war begin!

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My Supposed Love Affair with Steve Jobs

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IN MY OPINION anyone interested in improving himself should not rule out becoming pure energy. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.