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User Journal

Journal StefanJ's Journal: Stuff I want to find in my Amazon Gold Box

I don't know why I bother clicking on my Amazon Gold Box. I find its wiggling and shaking obnoxious, and I can't remember finding anything I'd ever order in the specials list.

(On a few occasions, I've peeked at the description of an item, more out of morbid curiosity than anything else. I think Amazon mistakes these peeks as interest, and thus skews my selection.)

Here are things that I would be pleasantly surprised to find in my Amazon Gold Box:

  • Nanobots that would restore my bulging L-5 spinal disk to proper shape.
  • A 1988 Honda Civic DX hatchback with A/C and prototype airbags. No miles. Mint in the box.
  • A litter of sapient GMO coyote pups I can mold into the first minions of my Army of Darkness.
  • A George Foreman Grill actually big enough to grill George Foreman.
  • A case of Reggie Bars.
  • A new copy of Tom Weller's Science Made Stupid.
  • A little plastic plug exactly designed to fit into the overflow drain in my bathtub, so I can efficiently employ my plumber's helper and finally uproot whatever is plugging up the drain.

Stefan

Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies. FORTRAN is for wimp engineers who wear white socks.

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