SharpNose's Journal: Alison Revisited

This entry naturally refers to the story of Alison, so, go back and review if you must.

After writing the entry about Ladder Theory, I've given a bit of thought about what happened with Alison and I've come to pretty much replace my old take on the situation with a new one.

The old take basically said that I met this really hot girl that I really dug and I tried and tried and tried to keep her attention and get with her until eventually she dusted me. She went away happier and I went away crushed.

The new take is a little more complex: I met a girl and we dug each other and we both saw in each other something that we both really wanted personality-wise, but I wasn't able to rise to the occasion and do what I needed to do to make the relationship go anywhere, so she dusted me. She went away disappointed and I went away crushed.

The new take is kinder towards me, you'll no doubt note, and some of you may think that it's more ego-stroking of myself than anything else. That isn't so, and this is why: for the most part, guys can't control what ladder women put them on. "What's he got that I ain't got" (as goes the Producers song) is a sentiment that misses the point. If you understand Ladder Theory, you realize that if you're in a situation like that, YOU lose and HE wins simply because of the ladder choices she couldn't help but make. YOU have no more reason to feel bad about losing than HE does to feel good about winning. Another way of putting this is that there is, in reality, no winning or losing. You PERCEIVE it as loss because a woman who has landed very high on your ladder is not available to you. Anyway, my point is that the bare facts of the Alison story support my claim that Alison was strongly attracted to me initially. I did no more to gain that attraction than be at the right place at the right time, looking as I did. What makes Alison so memorable was that I was definitely attracted to her from the get-go as well.

Had I been further along on the road to adulthood at 17, my relationship with Alison...well, I would have had a lot more to write about and remember. As it is, I mostly have a vague impression of hair, hips, and lips that will stay with me forever.

Wherever you are, Alison, I'm sorry.