Bill Gates stood with his mouth agape. Slowly he raised a finger and pointed, words came slowly from his mouth."I paid for you guys to make a gigantic spider?"
My brother nodded, "yup, a gigantic, REMOTE-CONTROLLED spider!"
I was still pretty impressed we pulled it off.
I turned to my brother. "I'm still pretty impressed we pulled it off you know, I mean spider and gigantic translucent oxygen suit and all."
Bill Gates was walking around the behemoth, "it's a wolf spider is it?"
I shrugged and mumbled "i dunno, ask my brother."
Bill Gates said his initial question was intended for my brother.
I apologized and turned to my brother, "It's a wolf spider?"
"What?" my brother asked.
"Is it a wolf spider?" I announciated, "The big ass monster in the translucent oxygen suit."
"oh yea, it's a wolf spider." said my brother as he was making some fine tunings on the remote contol device. "I like wolf spiders, and they are much more amiable than a black widow."
"Amiable, right" it wasn't the choice of words I would have chosen for this tank sized arachnid. words that would have described it better in my opinion would have been...oh... scary as all freaking hell!
beep! The device in my brothers hand made the small beeping noise that I had come to associate with some of the more frightening experiences in my life.
"ok, cool, here we go" my brother stuck a small suction cup to his right temple and extended the antenna from it. Strange subsonic sounds tinged with ultrasonic hisses emminated from the creature as the gigantic spider in the translucent oxygen suit began moving it's front legs up and down. "perfect!" my brother added. Now, go, kill, not us, the door. My brother pointed at the locked doorway in front of us and placed the remote device in his front pocket. About 5 seconds for the spider to process and it sprange to life, pounded the steel floor with its legs, turned like a tank on treads 180 degrees to face the blast door, then charged with biological speed that no fabricated machine could ever hope to muster. The 3 foot thick round steel door buckled like tin foil under the assault of the spider. Three ear splitting hits, and the round door busted open, slamming against the hallways wall.
A space nazi guard ran in through the wrended doorway. "what's going on here!?" he asked almost simultaneously as he was splattered against the adjoining wall.
Bill gates had not become un-agape the whole time, but now he looked pale as well. "that was the single most horrific and disturbing thing I have ever seen in my whole life." he said very matter of factly.
My brother looked a little shocked too, "yea, that was pretty gross. I don't feel very good."
I, secretly, thought it was pretty cool. But it was really really messy and I too felt the nausea welling up inside of me.
"Ok, we better get out of here" I said as I slowly inched around the creature and into the hallway. I was making a great effort to not look at the peanut butter and jelly-like remains of the space nazi guard and in doing so stepped on his dismembered arm. "GAH!" I said, "this is not the sort of thing I though I would be doing this evening you know!"
my brother, who seemed to be trying even harder not to look upon the mess on the wall, said "Ok, no I just tell the spider to guard and we should have a clear shot down this hallway to one of the main interface hubs for the ships communication system."
Bill Gates was staring at the the horrific, nacho-esque morbitity before him. "You know, all that rotten.com and steakandcheese must have jaded me, because that is gross. but its not that gross..".
I looked at bill and then I looked at the corpse-spread before me. "Well, yea, I mean, it's not as bad as that bloated fat corpse guy the police found in the hotel room with the porno mags and he had been in there for a week in 100 degree heat. But, that was just a jpeg, this...oh man, look at his intestines.."
My brother grabbed us both, "you guys are going to make me freaking PUKE! have you forgotten that any minute now there will be more space nazis? and they will most certainly make us look alot like homes here on the ground......and er, the wall...and my shoe."
"you're right!" I said. "let's get going billy!"
"don't call me billy." Bill turned a bit red.
"ah bill, sorry man" my brother said. "love you san!"
and my brother and I burst out lauging until a laser bolt flew past our heads.
"to the communications hub!" we all declared in unison, as the spider began attacking like an armadillo in a ketchup-filled-water-baloon store.