retrosteve's Journal: Programming in C (not)

Programming in C is like renting a car and being told you have to install the brakes yourself before you can drive it.

If you ask why you can't have the brakes pre-installed, they'll tell you that you can't really trust anyone but yourself with important things like brakes...

Of course, you know that all the other guys on the road had to install their own brakes too!

In C++ they give you a power torque wrench to install the brakes, but otherwise it's the same.

Professional C programmers get so good with a lug wrench that they forget that they've spent more time fixing brakes than actually driving where they want to go!

In Java the brakes come in simple installable modules that are hard to f*ck up.

But so do all the other parts of the car! And most of the parts, like headlights and windshields, come as optional add-on modules.

And so does the road! In fact, before you can drive a Java car, you need to go get a Java Virtual Road to drive it on. You can drive anywhere, but the transmission won't go above first gear.

Java engineers compensate for this by buying REALLY REALLY big engines and then pointing out that even in first gear, they can go as fast as a C car.