ayden's Journal: Of all the people I know, why Kristi?

I finally spoke to Kristi's husband George on Friday. He sobbed over the phone, swept up in survivor guilt, pain medication and lack of sleep. I found my self giving what comfort I could over a cell phone 3000 miles away. There are so many people affected by Kristi's death. The pattern of reactions are strange ... those closest to Kristi are devastated and express those emotions openly. Others on the periphery are also openly expressing emotions. However those of us in the middle are having a hard time dealing with these feelings. I've been close to tears for over a week now, but I still can't bring myself to cry.

I think to myself, of all the people I know why did it have to be Kristi? In a strange way, I think I know: I believe in reincarnation. To my mind, Kristi did what she needed to do in this life - she had overcome so many obstacles - overcome her self doubt - and truly lived her life to the fullest. Many people noticed that recently Kristi seemed happier than in all the time we knew her. Tibicen said it best: "She did what she needed to do." It still doesn't make it any easier.

On a logistical note, George asked me to be his east coast point of contact. If you need to get in contact with George, please contact me first. In turn, I will let everyone know about George's plans as soon as I learn of them.

Thank you, everyone for your patience, support and love.