The Turd Report's Journal: The Turd Report 12/28/2001

I had two grilled ham and cheese sandwiches yesterday for lunch. They were edible, but not much else. I had a very small turd this morning; this is not suprising due to the fact that I did not eat much during the day. The turd did not want to come out easily, so it took a good amount of pushing to get it out. Some cow-orker waddling in and talking to me during my dump did not help the situation. I kept trying to brush him off with short, terse answers, but he kept babbling on. It was about 'Lord of the Rings'. I tell him I haven't seen it. He can't comprehend that I haven't seen the movie. He walks away, stunned. It (the turd, not the cow-orker) was about 6 inches long and very thin. It was a generic turd brown and smelled just like you think a turd would smell. It flushed with ease. I rate this turd as a 5.