'Tis the season we celebrate America's predominant worship rites. The month long celebration that starts with Black Friday, continues on Local Saturday, more on Cyber Sunday, and all through December. The season when children are indoctrinated into worship, with visions of toys and iPads. When adults drive like morons to get to the mall and SPEND SPEND SPEND. The season when fights break out in stores over the objects of their worship.
'Tis the season of gluttony and drunken revelry. Blessed are the profits, for their followers shall inherit the Earth. Blessed are the rich, and the shopkeepers, and the greedy. Blessed are the lawyers and those who climb to power on the backs of their fellow men, never looking back or caring.
The season is here, when we buy a pagan tree to put in our homes, with the objects of worship beneath it. The season of cursing our fellow man, the season of no peace anywhere. The season of gimme.
Celebrate what we really worship -- celebrate money. Season's greedings to all! Except the poor, of course. Fuck those lazy bastards, they should all pull themselves up by their own bootstraps like Romney and Trump and the other saints have done.
Merry kid's mess, everyone! Season's greedings from WalMart, Target, Best Buy, and every other TV advertisers!