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Journal deathcloset's Journal: Bill's self-esteem

"I can't belive you have to use Linux." Said Bill Gates. "I mean, what is so special about this spacecraft's systems that Linux is the only OS that can interface with it?"

I turned to bill and said, "Because my version of XP is cracked the spaceship will be able to tell that something is not right. Because Linux is free and such the spacecraft will do a routine check of the system and judge it to be a valid host."

Bill's mouth dropped open, "you pirate software!?" He was obviously quite shocked.

My brother answered, "of course we do, haven't you ever pirated software?"

Bill gates replied, "heavens no! I can't believe you pirated XP! how could you? it had a serial number that was 25 alpha numeric characters long, there is no way you could have guessed it!"

"Dude," my brother stated. "It's like the easiest piece of software to get a pirated version of. Didn't anyone tell you?"

Bill Gates looked flabbergasted. "My guys told me that it was virtually impenitrable. That no one would be able to crack it. I mean, you know... Because I'm so rich!"

My brother looked at me and I at him. Then we both looked at Bill Gates. My brother spoke.

"Now Bill, while being rich is a reason for a lot of things happening it has very little to do with the propogation of ISO images and serial numbers. I know this may be a bit hard to comprehend, but just becuase you are so nauseatingly rich that I could shit doesn't mean that your employees werent lying to you about the impenitrable security of windows. In fact it's pretty full of holes, don't you read slashdot?"

Bill stood up a little straighter, "of course I read slashdot, just no articles with my cyborg picture above them. They make me mad and I cut my hand once when I punched my monitor. I hate that COYBOY NEAL!!!"

Bill was jumping up and down repeating his deep loathing for slashdot and Coyboy Neil, the.

My brother put his hand on bills shoulder. "Bill, man, don't worry about it. 2000 server was a great operating system. Your NT 5.0 kernel was great. Besides, even though we have to use linux to interface with this spacecrafts systems the virus we are loading into it is written in Visual Basic! doesn't that make you feel better?"

Bill Gates sniffled behind his fogged glasses, "really?" he asked.

"yes bill," my brother responded. "It's a 5k file written completely in VB. See? you did make something good."

Bill gates cheered up a little, "well, that's good news then. Let's blow up these space Nazi's spacship shall we!"

And with that My little brother double clicked on his desktop icon of Tux the linux penguin who was holding the microsoft logo and imediately the lights dimmed and a low rumbling started from deep within the spacecrafts bowels.

"We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company."