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Journal RM6f9's Journal: Been awhile (ramble warning) 4

Too many changes in too short a time can erode one's motivation: I recently had to have Gracie, the 84-lb tri-color ruff collie who shared my angel's last ten years, put to sleep (arthritis, constant pain, no more suffering) - Selling a majority of my stuff, most of which I knew were foolish purchases when I made them - rather like a temporary drug habit, I guess - preparatory to selling my house - debt-free will be a good thing when it happens, as the mortgage is the last debt.
The business I'm in: While I'm not enjoying the spectacular results some others are, it is rewarding enough to keep me going, both in terms of personal health and finances, so that's a positive...
It's odd, really - having one's future as an almost completely blank page, you'd think it'd be a sense of joy, of freedom - so why do I feel so scared?

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Been awhile (ramble warning)

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  • You know the routine, anticipation, and all that. The joy will come when it becomes the present..

    • by RM6f9 ( 825298 )

      Actually, I don't know the routine - I've always done the next thing either to escape the previous thing, or because somebody else expected it of me - now, I have a blank palette, a few things I want to do, but, within my own sense of what's moral and responsible, so many options it's scary. Thanks for the feedback!

  • A blank slate is always scary. Whatever happens to it, for good or for bad, is all you. When you're making decisions because fo external factors, it is easier to explain away failure. You didn't have all the options open to you. A clean, blank slate staring at you is nothing but options.

    The good news is, you're a good guy. You're smart, compassionate, and a hard worker. I have a feeling you will do good, if not great things with your slate.
  • The future is "the great unknown"; the people and things from our past are an anchor of reassurance and stability.

    Having a plan, and seeing it progress, is great. It doesn't take away past hurts or the sense of loss, but it makes it a bit less unbearable, and gives hope for the future.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness. -- Robert Heinlein