Journal blue trane's Journal: Dream 4
Dream about Raquel
She's the same, beautiful waif. We're driving around the country. We stop in a store, she buys sheets that are attached at the end, like a sleeping bag but just connected along one side and partly across the bottom and with no zipper. They have frilly edges, like little squares attached with ribbons, along the bottom.
She goes to a doctor to get medications for her teeth.
We're not having sex but I'm okay with that, not anxious. Also I'm not smoking crack (she is). I just drive, maybe I read. I'm calm, unconcerned.
Scene in a motel or bed'n'breakfast of some kind. We go in, she talks to the proprietors as I wait, I don't see them. I'm calm, devoid of desire.
She appears, we go through a passage into a back room, past the entrance to the proprietors' quarters, but I don't see them. I'm a little surprised we're so close to them, but don't feel ruffled.
Our room is very long and bigger than I expected. A couch-bed, sort of a wide cot made up to function as a sofa with cushions to lean on, is against the wall on one side.
We are tired from driving. I begin to make up the bed, pulling off the covering and removing the cushions.
We spread the sheets she bought, which are connected at the bottom, with frills. I'm not nervous, not thinking about sex. She's talking to me, sitting up at the head of the bed. She isn't flirtatious just matter-of-fact, normal. Talking about her teeth, her medication. I'm happy, in love, not addicted. Does she smoke crack? I watch, no desire to do it myself. We are going to settle inside the sheets...
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Maybe that's the way it should have been? Oh well, raquel!
Another dream (Score:2)
Dan drives me somewhere in a nice car. It reminds me of France because the streets are narrow and the buildings are old. When we get there I get out before he parks on the sidewalk, putting the passenger side of the car right up against a building wall to keep the car out of the street. The driver is on the right side of the car, like in England.
We do something in a store. Maybe it's a music store. I'm humming "Sweet Georgia Brown" as we come out, and I stand at the front of the car waiting for him to back
Re: (Score:2)
Correction: "Sweet Georgia Brown" is still in my head and I sing it loudly.
"forgot my words" refers to a mother I once saw telling her young child: "Use your words!"
Further thoughts on these two dreams (Score:2)
I miss the feeling of hope that it is possible for me to have a girlfriend like raquel, but I don't miss the unmitigated psychological trauma that has always accompanied that hopeful state of mind. The solution I've come up with is, try to build a virtual world where I can experience that hopeful feeling without the pain.
The second dream highlights the fact that, to create a virtual world where I can experience the first dream, I have to use words, not retreat to nonverbal signals. To code the vr, I have to
More notes (Score:2)
The sleeping-bag-like sheets may refer to the sleeping bag I sleep in, and it being open partly along the bottom may be a warning to me to keep it more open than I have been this winter, to prevent my feet from getting too warm and encouraging athete's foot from reappearing.
Why am I not happy as in the dream with raquel? What is blocking me? Jung might say there is some inner conflict, something in my unconscious that is causing psychic energy to be redirected to other things like my paranoia, my fear of hu