karniv0re's Journal: Life Is Hard

I am attempting to straighten out my fucking life.

On the surface, everything seems great. I'm a CS/Math graduate working for a Fortune 500 company doing web infrastructure and development. I'm not in
too bad of shape, fairly good looking, and people seem to like me.

But, dig a little deeper, and you'll see that things are teetering on disaster at any given minute.

My debt situation is fucking ridiculous. Not in the amount, but in the fact that it doesn't seem to be moving at all. I throw a little cash here and
there at it, and the interest and fees just eat it like a greedy dog. Couple that with the fact that I'm basically living pretty meagerly. I hate my
apartment. It's constantly a mess. I have a long-haired cat that coats the house in fine cat hairs. I feel like I'm struggling to keep up at work.
Forget testing, I'm just trying to get the product out the door. And because of the lack in testing, when it is out the door, it's buggy, which in
turn makes me look bad. I'm not even sure I like my job anymore. I'm not sure I was cut out for corporate America. I think I would rather be touring
playing music. No, there's no money in that. But there's no joy in my current job. I have always wanted to freelance. Something that I would put time
and energy into because I would love what I was doing, not just because of pride in work (which is the only reason I work as hard as I do now). Anyway.

I am attempting to straighten out my fucking life. And not without a plan. So, here's my fucking plan:

Physical Appearance:

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                  Diet - I am using http://dailyburn.com to track my nutrition and my goal is to get down to 10% body fat. I have several other goals with how
                  much weight I would like to lift. This is all with the end goal of being confident and attractive to women.
         

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                  Skin - Sunless tanner, tanning beds, or just sitting out in the sun. But I need to get some color on this skin. I also need to clear up my
                  blackheads and big pores. It's not terrible, but it's an imperfection nonetheless.
         

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                  Hair - I'm changing my hair from the military spec haircut to something a little more edgy. I've always said I get most of my confidence from
                  my hair. This should shoot confidence through the roof (if it works).
         

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                  Lips - If the peeling doesn't stop, I may need to find a product that will fix it.
         

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                  Clothes - I don't have the money for new clothes, but I am going to start needing them. My thighs are outgrowing my jeans (squats, man,
                  squats). Keeping an eye on the sales racks in Von Maur and Express should do the trick.
         

Finance:

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                  Since http://mint.com won't track my small hometown bank, I need to do my own tracking on a http://docs.google.com spreadsheet. Strict record
                  keeping and adhearance to a budget should help me get my debts slowly paid off.
         

Work:

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                  The biggest problem at work is distractions. I need to find a way to focus. I'm currently typing this at work. This is not focus.
         

Girls:

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                  I need to get out and continue meeting women. I've been slacking off in this area, so I need to get back into it. More to come on this.
         

Long Term Work Goals:

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                  If I ever want to be a consultant, I need to start doing some small work. I need contacts. I NEED TO GET THIS MOVING.
         

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                  I also need to start learning skills that people want. Like design. God I hate design. But I need to learn it. Without it, I'm only half a
                  consultant.
         

Music:

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                  I want to play music. I always have. I'm going to start booking shows around here and getting contacts. I need a demo as well. This must
                  happen.
         

This is kind of a shitty list, but it's just an overview. I've got a lot of the specific tasks in http://rememberthemilk.com To Do lists. I need
these lists to feel a little less panicked. I've only got one shot at this life. I need to make the most of it.