tony7531's Journal: Defibrillator At Train Station Used To Cook Food

The PATH train, which stands for Port Authority Trans-Hudson Corporation, is a train which runs from New Jersey's eastern border across the Hudson to New York city. It is a popular commuter train and, as it turns out, daily plays host to carload after carload of resourceful people, people who know how to abuse a defibrillator in ways the rest of us can only dream of. In eternal wise guy fashion, regular riders of the PATH train have adapted the emergency defibrillators recently installed in their stations to a wide variety of uses.

Jose Vallarta was one early user of the defibrillator. "I was just waiting for the train one day and this guy was standing next to me with a hot dog. I guess this hot dog had gotten a little cold by the time he got down to the tracks. The guy was talking out loud about it as if someone was listening or would respond or care or something. Anyway, this guy just strolls right up to the defibrillator and shocks the hell out of his hot dog, commentating the whole time and making a big fuss about how good it was. The next time I rode the subway I bought a cold dog at the hotdog stand next to the entrance just to try it out. The guy at the stand thought I was crazy, but I tell you what, it's so good I do it every day now."

There are now lines every morning to use the emergency medical device to heat up any number of foods such as breakfast rolls, eggs, bacon and other breakfast goodies. Coffee is often heated in mugs, although there have been a few incidents involving metal thermoses. "It's pretty nuts that all these people heat up their food every morning while they're waiting for the subway instead of heating it at home. They're not really saving that much time, but the shock from the defibrillator flash cooks it so much better than any normal way of cooking."

Alfredo Allen, head of security at the Journal Square PATH station said, the defibrillators have been more trouble than they are worth. "People are having a good time with those defibrillators but that's not what they are there for. Besides being such a grievous misuse of medical equipment, it is quite clear from the overhead security announcements that you should not be eating, smoking, or carrying on in the station, and people are using the defibrillators to do all of three of these things." One of the biggest problems Allen has is dealing with groups of teenagers and children who are not afraid to grab the defibrillators and play with them. These children have devised games in which the odd man out or the losers are subjected to quick shocks.

It's good practice for kids in case they have to shock some crazy person who's hanging around by the tracks, that is what I use it for. "The fact that you can shock a crazy person into passivity right down there by yourself makes riding the subway a lot more comfortable. And the homeless people benefit too because I'm sure not being able to remember who you are for more than 10 minutes at a time is a big relief considering the state they're in."