Follow Slashdot stories on Twitter


Forgot your password?
It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal Greyfox's Journal: My Regime

In a number of posts I've talked about my regime. When I become Dictator for Life (through an open election process) things will be run a bit differently. I thought I should get this all down in one place so that people will not be confused about my regime's stances on various topics.

My regime would bring back impaling. It worked for Vlad the Impaler -- in the height of his reign you could leave a bag of gold on the street and no one would touch it. They were afraid of being impaled. I'd get rid of most victimless crimes, and would need to work out for the rest of them where exactly the impaling would start. Drunk driving, I think, would be an impalable offense. Murder and rape, definitely impaling there. Monetary fraud etc... impaling... Needless to say the prison population in my regime would be a LOT smaller.

My regime would require mandatory reversible sterilization of all citizens at puberty and a license in order to reverse it for breeding. After all, currently you need a license to buy a car or a gun but any jackass who can figure out how to stick a penis in a vagina can make a baby with no government regulation. Needless to say, breeding license applicants would need to demonstrate financial stability and a degree of minimal competence for parental obligations.

If you're not breeding, gay marriage will not only be legal, it will be mandatory. This will encourage people to be competent enough to pass the breeding license exam and everyone else will be happy with it. Or else...

My regime would mandate samurai honor code for corporate officers and public officials. Bring dishonor to your office via fraud, ineptitude or corruption and you will be allowed to kill yourself, or you'll be impaled. The events of the past few years make it painfully clear that this is necessary.

My regime would ban organized religion except for the state-sponsored one, which would involve Smurfs. Non-smurfy behavior will be punishable by impaling. Heresy will be punishable by feeding the offending people to Garganel.

Oh yes and my regime will have public health care. My regime would not tolerate insurance companies feeding on the corpses of my citizens, no. My regime puts its citizens first and will work to insure their well-being. Any other attitude would be completely non-Smurfy.

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

My Regime

Comments Filter:

The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.