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Music

Journal bettiwettiwoo's Journal: The Bond Theme Song Curse 15

I take it you have heard of the Bond theme song curse?! Any artist recording the Bond theme song will be sucked into some sort of Bermuda Triangle career black hole and will never be heard of (musically) ever again. (A reason to be actually thankful for Amy Winehouse's drug addiction.)

So, yesterday I caught the video of the new Bond theme: Another Way to Die with Alicia Keys and Jack White.

And I have now developed a new and exciting (yes, because I know you have all been waiting for this) alternative theory: it's not a curse, it's a pinnacle.

You have to understand that from a musical point of view, I hate Alicia Keys; I mean, really, really hate Alicia Keys; hate to that extent that I will turn off, switch the channel, leave, just simply will not listen to, will go to lengths not to listen to, kind of hate. Which is sort of funny, because I usually quite like that whole R&B/urban/soul/whatever. But Alicia Keys? Ixnay! Cannot do. Yet there she is: in that video, singing that song, and I like it! I almost like her, singing it! Can this be? How can this be???

So my theory is now that the Bond song merely represent the summit of an artist's career and that is the reason we never hear from them (musically) ever again. Not a curse. A high point. From which to only way is down, down, down.

Think about it: has Sheryl Crow ever sounded better (or looked better) than she did in Tomorrow Never Dies ; was there ever a better Duran Duran song than License to Kill ; or better one for Carly Simon than Nobody Does It Better ?! Can you name one other Wings' song but Live and Let Die ? (No, Mull of Kintyre doesn't count; it's not a song, it's a punishment.)

Now I admit there may be some slight flaws - or, exceptions - to this theory. Chris Cornell, I hear you say. Which, I would have to admit, is a potent argument. Maybe. For have we really heard much of/from Chris Cornell solo musician before or after this foray into Bond?!? (And isn't that an unusually dreary Bond ditty, anyway?!)

Then there is, of course, Madonna. It seems there is always, somehow, Madonna. Well, I admit, that her career can hardly be said to have ended with that song (obviously, that corpse was left to die another day), nor can I honestly claim that the song itself represents (one of) the pinnacle(s) of her career. I would like to point out, however, that American Life was released the year following her Bond song. And that both Confession from a Dance Floor and Hard Candy sound unusually tired and backward looking. (4 Minutes easily sound like any ... Aaliyah song you ever heard ... 10 years ago ... except worse.)

Either way, I rejoice in both the song and the fact that Another Way to Die will bring an end to Alicia Keys' polluting to ether waves. Go Bond!

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The Bond Theme Song Curse

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  • I've only heard of her because my 2 year old daughter LOVES "The Backyardigans", and Keys sings a really annoying song about how "Almost Everything is Boinga Here".

    You can preview the song here, if you're masochistic... [buy.com]
    • OK, that was an almost exceptionally annoying song. The things children put their poor, innocent parents through ... Although, it is perhaps not entirely representative of Keys' normal output. Fallin' [youtube.com] would be a better expression of that, I think. It's also one of my pet hate Alicia songs. Possibly because it's been played relatively often.

  • What about Paul McCartney?
    • You don't consider Paul McCartney cursed? I have two words for you: Heather. Mills.

      And anyway, with the possible exception of Ebony and Ivory what on earth has Paul McCartney produced musically since that Bond song? In a worthwhile sense, I mean.

      • Band on the Run?
      • You don't consider Paul McCartney cursed? I have two words for you: Heather. Mills.

        I would have replaced that with John Lennon myself. Had he not existed, there would have been no shadow for Paul to live under, so he would have the money and the respect.
        • Oh, that's so true it's not even funny.

          I think one of the worst moment in pop history was George Michael's waxing on about buying John Lennon's piano because it was the one with which he wrote Imagine, which, Michael claimed, is the best song ever written.

          It's one of those times I considered throwing up in my mouth a little on purpose, you know, just to mark the occasion.

  • You have to understand that from a musical point of view, I hate Alicia Keys; I mean, really, really hate Alicia Keys; hate to that extent that I will turn off, switch the channel, leave, just simply will not listen to, will go to lengths not to listen to, kind of hate. Which is sort of funny, because I usually quite like that whole R&B/urban/soul/whatever. But Alicia Keys? Ixnay! Cannot do. Yet there she is: in that video, singing that song, and I like it! I almost like her, singing it! Can this be? Ho
  • I just think "You're So Vain" was better, for its' time. But that's meeeee. :-)
    • Yes, I admit that You're so Vain is really good. But it came before Nobody Does It Better, didn't it? Or are you saying that Simon's career was already on the downward spiral when she did the latter?

      • "Nobody Does It Better" just wasn't all that great, despite the hype - it lacked bite, unlike "You're So Vain", so I'd have to go with "already peaked" (as opposed to "downward spiral).

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him. -- Bion

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