Journal memfree's Journal: History in the U.S., or: Glad it wasn't *my* family. 3
That is the point. Two perspectives on one event. Mine will certainly have more details of the debate, while the other journal will have the more interesting parts of people's motivations.
The important players are all intelligent, educated, and pretty liberal. They are as follows.
- Girl: 25 yo female. Teaching school in day. Worked/works in the Theater business (as in Broadway). Visiting host. Lives in NYC.
- Dad: 60-something male. Father of Girl. Retired school teacher (high school, I believe). Visiting Host. Lives in Texas.
- Mom:50-something female. Wife of Dad. Visiting Host. Lives in Texas.
- Aunt:40-something female. Sister of Mom. More actively artistic than Dad. Lives minutes from Host.
- Host: aka Uncle 50-something male. Brother of Mom. Capitalistic as well as liberal. Also more actively artistic than Dad.
- Hubby:30-something male. Husband of Host. Most fluent of group in Technology. Less interested in Arts.
- The Ex:50-something male. Older male, friend of Uncle. Not at ease with arguments. Interested in allowing people to be expressive, but preferring more harmonious exchanges than aggressive debate. Travels frequently.
- (me): 30-something female. One of the minority of my family to NOT teach (though the above are not my family). Less liberal than most the crowd. Likes debates. Lives an hour from Host.
Host and Hubby have invited me over to their family Xmas festivities. I've been a friend of Hubby for many years, and have met the Host's family before, but never been that close to them. I show up at their house around 9:30 AM so a bunch of can see LotR:TTT (again) before getting down to Xmas festivities. Some of Host's family are staying behind. Most all (except Aunt, who lives close by) have been and will continue to be sleeping over for most the week.
We saw the movie, loved it, made it through some nasty snow and back to warm confines. We found the Girl and Dad engaged in a debate of the institutionalized biases of text books. While the topic was interesting, the Girl leading the attack (one of male bias, and the exclusion of women) was so personally offended, that she could not contain herself. Dad was agreeing with Girl, but hedging some, and Girl was furious.
This was going on in the family room, which adjoins the kitchen. Us movie-goers originally started off mostly in the kitchen to offer help with dinner preparations, but we were mostly in the way, so we went over to involve ourselves in the discussion.
The debate itself was pretty interesting and I joined Aunt on the sidelines to throw in remarks here and there. The main point was that U.S. schools teach History with a bias towards male figures engaging in male activities. That is, U.S. schools teach History as a series of men and their wars. There is little mention of how societies changed except in reference to or because of war.
Example: the rise of the middle class may be cited as leading to the French Revolution, and it *may* be mentioned that the rise happened because of the Plague, but it is highly unlikely that any women or minority groups will be mentioned, nor will their culture nor will the changes in their cultures. If there isn't a body count, a new type of weapon, or a change in national boundaries, it probably won't get covered in a History class taught in a U.S. school (K-12 -- we weren't counting colleges).
Girl complained that this bias affected and still affects her whole life. It affects how women see themselves -- and how men see women (namely, that they don't) -- and it is another hurdle women must overcome. Despite all the efforts of the Civil Rights movement, women are still making less than men, and the work they do is still not considered worthwhile -- not worth payment. She complained that study after study shows that when women take time off to have children, they get left behind in their chosen career, and never catch up to the positions and salary of their male counterparts.
I argued against this last bit. I countered that saying while she is correct that far, I believe if men took an equal amount of time off to have children, raise them, refuse long hours and such, they'd face the same problem when competing with those who did not. I expect that anyone who leaves their career track for an extended period will get left behind, and that such will continue until such time that EVERYONE starts doing it.
In fact, I argued, any group that has power will seek a means to retain that power. If you leave a position any rank, when you return, you can expect that another has taken your place, and you'll have to fight to get back to where you were.
Aunt came in on this with and a previous point on what powers women have. Aunt mentioned studies of how female apes (chimps and the like) assert power in this very way. A male leads the group. Male is eventually ousted by upstart. Male doesn't treat the babies (which aren't his) well, and the females unite to remove him. They let a friend of the old leader take over, and when the upstart returns, he is ranked low.
Mom (who was fairly quiet, and used to this behavior from the ones she loved) added that she thought it was great that for ONCE the girls were debating matters of world import while the MEN were cooking dinner. Someone added, "Yeah, ONCE. The rest of the year, the girls have to do it." I think it was Young Friend or Aunt who pointed out how inaccurate both ideas were. Given that 3 of the kitchen crew were gay men, they were not subject to male/female generalizations. In fact, no matter WHO cooked in this house, it would ALWAYS be a man.
Somewhere, things led to a discussion of what power females have, and how the sexes are not the same (upper body strength, exploratory drive, ability to discern emotions, influencing groups). We got back around to the point that the things women do aren't covered in school. Aunt emphasized Girl's point by explaining how when she went to High School, they made her repeat math that she'd already covered in her previous advanced placement courses. Bored to tears, she got a 'D' in her freshman math. The school counselor told her parents not to worry, as Aunt didn't need that sort of training. They needed to get her into Home-Ec. classes to prepare her for life as a housewife. Aunt grinned, and didn't need to mention how very single she's intentionally kept herself -- and how she's managed quite nicely without a husband, thank you. Aunt also brought up "The Alphabet Versus the Goddess" and how once men wrested power from women, they used reading as a tool of power.
Girl got back to berating her dad. She used Aunt's school example as another plank in her platform for why schools must get rid of text books. There are plenty of works out there, and it is wrong to force children to think in such restrictive ways. Dad agreed with the basic idea, and suggested a comparative discernment approach. His point was that there will always be bias -- even in original sources, so rather than teaching a text book, it might be better to look at how different original sources view the same subject. He suggested looking at property as discussed by Thomas Paine's Agrarian Justice and a Karl Marx's essay on Private Property and Communism -- they have very different approaches to one issue. Have students read along while someone reads a paragraph. Discuss, go to next paragraph, discuss, etc.
He started mentioning another topic, and other authors when Girl stopped him saying, "You see?!?!? Even when you're talking about a more reasonable approach, you're STILL using MALE sources!"
So he listed off two women with opposing views on birth control.
Girl threw up her hands and let out an exasperated scream of frustration. "That's the same thing! Are you saying that the only things women can talk about are women's issues?!?!!?"
Dad interjected that he didn't mean that -- it was just the only two women authors with dramatic differences in stance he could quickly recall was for that issue. Girl replied that Dad was making her point for her. That there are lots of sources out there, and even SHE doesn't know them because they were never mentioned in school. She only became aware of them in college. Her life was being demeaned by Dad and the rest of the teachers of the U.S. that only taught one sort of thing.
Dad had reason to get a bit upset at being lumped in with everyone else. Girl was on the verge of tears. Aunt and I exited the room to let the Father/Daughter conflict go on without spectators to witness. The discussion was no longer about the issues, but about how Dad treats his Girl. We didn't need nor want to be in a discussion that intimate and wrought with so much emotional weight.
Since the boys were still busy working on dinner, we went onto the patio. I mentioned to Aunt that while they'd all heard my comment that I _did_ find warfare an appropriate topic for history, I hadn't had the chance to add my follow up: we DID learn about Queen Elizabeth, and how today students were learning about Margaret Thatcher. Heck, I even remember a bit of sociology regarding how Eleanor of Aquitaine influenced Europe's Nobility to art and Courtly Love -- thereby showing a woman of power changing society in a feminine way, and breaking ground for the Renaissance (though that was still centuries away).
When we went back inside, the fight was over, and the Girl was not in evidence. Come to find that she has left. She's gone for a walk. Hmmm...
More interesting. It wasn't her Dad that set her out. It was the Host. Seems he was so frustrated with the endless family quarrel, its length, its increasing loudness, and his own problems trying to get everything set for the big Holiday meal, that he had stopped his preparations long enough to stick his head in the family room to angrily yell at the Girl to shut the fuck up.
No more talk of that for a while. It was time for a new topic. Everything calmed down for a bit. Girl eventually came back to the house, but headed straight for the guest room that held her luggage. We all said nothing, and let Dad and Host do what they would. Mom probably talked to Girl, but if so, Mom was so discreet that I didn't notice.
Dinner was divided into two tables. I was at the more intimate of the two, and away from the home owner. Host's ex-boyfriend (still very close after so many years together) and Aunt were next to me, and the Ex wanted to defend Girl, while I defended Host's right to be bothered by a disruption in his own home. It was very hard t talk at all with Host at the next table. Our discussion did not become heated, and I think we all made strides to NOT offend anyone. It actually became humorous at times. The gist of the Ex's argument was that the Girl is young, and the young should be passionate. The world will break her down, but her parents and family should not. She should be allowed to express her thoughts with those who love her most. My counter was that Christmas dinner isn't the time for it -- especially not in someone else's home where they've been kind enough to put you up. Aunt retorts that we're both right, but given that Girl doesn't see Dad that often, this is one of the rare chances Girl has to confront Dad and express her independance. Aunt also points out that everyone in Dad's family argues this way (though usually with less of themselves at stake), but Host does not. Aunt also believes that Host had *just* enough wine to tip him into surly jerk mode.
Between dinner and dessert, Dad went up to talk to Girl. Despite good sound proofing, much female screaming could be heard echoing through the walls. Dad came down, and the family opened presents. No one commented on the missing Girl.
All in all, it was a sad affair on a happy day. Girl had the misfortune of bringing up a topic her Dad would happily argue on an intellectual level *just* so there could be discussion (and Dad is want to do that -- he and I had a great debate over the good & evil of Microsoft some time ago -- and we were both happy to have an opponent). Girl should know her Dad well enough to know he'd react that way -- even if she disapproves of him doing that.
It felt like what she really wanted was a way to show her Dad how she'd become her own person. What I think she heard was Dad still treating her as a child, and saying, "Daddy loves you, but daddy knows better than you".
Uncle and the rest of us were just more examples of how no one over 30 'gets' Girl. None of us understand.
More Booze...Less Books (Score:1)
Happy Holidays to you!
Funny, my kids had high school history in the US (Score:1, Interesting)
For both kids, teachers were adamant that everywhere else in the US, all history was taught right now exactly as in the 1950s. (Funny that both used huge textbooks from major publishers. In world history, the topic "Roman Law" got one page, the yam festivals of Ghana got about 10.)
"Critical thinking" was praised to the skies but not tolerated for an instant on any of the "sacred doctrines" such as the US stinks, women and Indians and Blacks really played a huge role in every important advance but their contribution got hidden by racist historians.
I am sorry for the "Girl" in your story, who was trying to show off her PC attitudes and brilliance to the assembled multitude, and had absolutely no experience defending the crap she'd been taught as gospel. Instead of looking brilliant and sophisticated, she ended up looking stupid, and her dad was the one who did this horrible thing to her.
AC sig: After 2 drinks, I post as Anonymous Coward. You have been warned.
That's IT? (Score:1)