Salubri's Journal: The Year Coming to a Close

Well, it's another end-of-year-up-late-at-night-chain-smoking-and-thinking-about-life sessions. This year has been a bittersweet blend of some of the best and worst moments of my life. There have been so many ups and downs that at this point I'm just glad it's over and hope that 2003 is a bit more stable.

Lets start with the good of this year. I finally got another tech job after spending... well... since April 2000 looking. I had spent two and a half years either unemployed or working the crappiest jobs to make ends meet, but I finally beat the odds and got another job. My psychotic ex-girlfriend, hell-bent on slandering me, has decided that hopping from one guy to the next has burned her out mentally and she is moving back in with her parents to get the help she desperately needs. The test results after being with her all came back negative. I am still in college getting my degree. And I finally have the money I need to pay off back-bills. If I continue this spartan lifestyle, I'll be sound enough to float another period of unemployment. My family is all in good health. My brother finally earned his Ph.D. in Chemistry. Finally, I can look in the mirror and say to myself that all the bad I've been through has been worth it.

The bad? Well, I worked at a retail job for quite a while where one of the managers hated me so much he would challenge me to physical fights. A woman I had loved for over a year (the psychotic ex) apparently only started a relationship with me to break an engagement she hadn't told me about, and was sleeping with any number of guys greater than three (Thus being happy the test results came back negative). Nine months of the year spent living on ramen, wondering if I'd have enough to get by on. Hearing so many people blame problems they have on people that had nothing to do with the situation, and so many wars between friends that I have completely lost count.

In 2003 I am looking forward to, after selling my old computer, having enough money to go back to Mac after being in the land of PC for three years. It's not going to be a top of the line machine, a modest Ibook, but it will be far better than the hardware I currently have. I am looking forward to enjoying my new hobby of refurbishing old solid-body guitars for fun and profit... and I am looking forward to the realization that I am 22, earning enough money to live and save for when I'm not, single, and enjoying life. Who knows? Maybe I'll find that loyal, spiritual, heavy-metal-loving, caring nympho that I so desperately want. Hey, you never know! Sha! And monkeys might fly out of my butt!

All in all, I just hope things will settle down. Bad or good, it feels like life has been going 90 miles an hour around me in all directions and it's been tough to keep up. Maybe the new year will show kindness and slow down.