Whoever said you can never be too thin or too rich never met Bill gates or "Bighead", the whore I was with last night. That was the worst pussy I ever had. In fact it was so bad I'm not letting you suspend my nerd license! I'd have been better off wanking, it was so bad.
It's been quiet. Real quiet. Almost too quiet. I mentioned the pleasant day Sunday. Yesterday morning was warm as well, so I took the afternoon off.
I went to "Martha's Magic Comb" to get my hair cut. There was a young bald fellow who knew me, and who I knew but damn I couldn't remember the fellow's name. There were a couple of women in there; the Magic Comb is really a beauty shop, but Martha gives men's haircuts for five bucks.
One lady looked very young until I noticed the gray hair. She smiled at me as she left; perhaps I'll see her again somewhere where I can buy her a drink.
I went to Wally World and bought cat food and people chow and went to Harry's, where all the women seemingly were the other day.
There were no women. Tim was there tending bar; he used to tend bar at Doc's before Danny sold it and it became the "Blue Grouch". I had a single beer, a San Adams draft. Sam Adams should give the Harry's owners a good scolding, as it tasted worse than Schlitz. Schlitz is the king of truthful ads; "When you're out of Schlitz you're out of beer" because that's the last brand anyone will grab if the nasty shit's in your refrigerator.
They really need to rinse the draft lines at Harry's better.
I went to the Y and signed up. Maybe I'll find a good woman to keep me away from all the bad ones.
I wound up at Gloria's, and the phone rang. It was "Julia" hawking reefer. So I dropped by there. I wonder if the fellow is a boyfriend, pimp, or roommate? At any rate, when I left with my baggie the hooker from the previous night motioned me from two houses down. Apparently the street "Julia" lives on is Hooker Boulevard, named after the late great blues man.
Well ok, that's bullshit. There is no "Hooker Boulevard" in Springfield that I know of (Google Maps says there's one in Jacksonville), but two hookers living two houses from each other surely make this street a horney nerd's paradise.
I had to haggle with the whore, who wanted forty bucks. I'm not used to paying more than twenty; I'll pay thirty if she's really good. Of course, I usually get a good deal, maybe it's because I know so many whores. One girl gets up to two hundred bucks an hour and does me for twenty. Being nice often pays off!
She settled for twenty five.
This was one skinny broad. My friend who claims to be the president of the "Itty Bitty Tittie Committee" needs to hand the presidency over to "Bighead" because this girl's got smaller tits than some men. And what is it with you freaks with girlie tits anyway? You never saw that when I was a kid, now every fat boy has tits. Are they putting progesterone in the Big Macs and Whoppers these days? If so this girl sorely needs one!
She had no ass, either.
This skinny little thing was probably five six and couldn't have weighed more than eighty pounds dripping wet. She was way too skinny, even for me, and I always had a thing for skinny chicks. Unclothed, her skinny body made her head look huge, especially with that hair sticking straight out. And she had big wild looking crazy eyes.
I don't think I've ever seen a skinnier woman. I know for sure I've never seen a woman that skinny naked.
She had a hard time making it hard; she wasn't very good at foreplay and she was in way too big of a hurry. Too bad for her; I know a fellow who owns an "escort service" (with the $200 whore that charges me $20) that's always looking for talent. If she'd been any good I could have gotten her some good money, but jesus she wasn't worth a shit. She had to be the worst fuck I've had since my divorce, maybe the worst I ever had. Even my ex was better than her, she was at least the worst I had since before the cunt was born (she couldn't have been over 25, which was part of the problem I had getting it up).
She had a tight pussy, though.
She called later in the evening wanting to fuck again. Maybe she'll pay me for lessons...