Cock Cockwood's Journal: William Scott Lockwood III: Masochist

Scott Lockwood seems to have shortchanged himself in almost every critical life decision. Let's examine the facts, hmm?

The High School Dropout
Too busy masturbating and doing things of higher priority, Lockwood cannot be bothered with this basic certificate, which is pretty much a requisite for any grunt job. Lockwood, instead of taking advantage of the government-funded schooling system and free tutoring, finds basic arithmetic and algebra "hard". We later find that Lockwood is incapable of basic logical thought during his brief laughable attempts at learning the ANSI C programming language.

The Enlisted Navy Man
What better organizaton to surrender your humanity to? The homosexual disco group The Village People became famous by singing about the glories of showering nude with other men and staying on vessels for months at a time with them. He spent eight years in the service, protecting precisely nothing, and was paid relatively handsomely for it. Yet, we see in the future that he manages to squander any potential wealth he may have acquired.

Divorcer, Threefold, ???, Profit!!!
Ah, the glories of the modern age. It's said that a full sixty percent of modern marriages do not last, and that success is usually obtained in a second marriage. Lockwood, clearly a rebel, bucks that trend with four marriages and three divorces! Alimony, alimony, alimony. An obvious progressive, he even fathers two children with his first wife and deadbeats the poor little bastards. The children themselves have restraining orders against this child molester. Let us not forget that he's a habitual alcoholic.

Bye Bye Navy Pay, Hello Shitty IT Cash
When you're dishonorably discharged for trying to anally rape your superior officers in the Navy, one must seek employment elsewhere to pay your familial woes. Luckily for Lockwood, the dot-com bubble was inflating like so much mucous in his nasal cavities. However, as a low-level IT tech, he gets fired on several occasions for looking at pornography and conversing through text messaging on company time. Couple that with the fact that he can do nary basic math, you can see why nobody would want to keep him on the payroll. In the midst of this employment strife, we also find that Lockwood has an almost habit-like tendency to host tens of slash and scoop sites on his own dollar, while at the same time having to supply wheelbarrows upon wheelbarrows of foodstuffs to his gigantic fourth wife. So much a habit, this weblog addiction, Lockwood is forced to re-locate his residence and even necessarily parts with a cat (remember, it stares at your genitals, dur hurrrr)! Lockwood can accurately be described as a self-debting money pit.

Irritating and Inane Internet Idiot!
Lockwood, a nuisance from the start, takes pride in his irritating presence on the interent, and even boasts of his fidonet days. Lockwood is also an expert troll, as evidenced by these posts. Truly an intelligent and witty troll.

ISSUE #001: Sex Advice With Dr. Scott Lockwood!

[Dr. Scott Lockwood,]

ISSUE #001 - 2002 Dec 07
Sex Advice With Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD)

Editor's Note:
Sex Advice with Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD) will be a weekly column in which renowned homocologist Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD) answers the sexual questions you've always been too afraid to ask. As a dedicated felcher, cocksmoker, rimmer, and sodomite, Dr. Scott (PhD) is well qualified to answer any questions you might have. Unless your question involves females, in which case he'll have no clue. Please restrict your questions to his medical specialty, the field of homocology.

Please reply to this post/diary with your sex questions for Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD), and I'll select the best ones and pass them on to him for him to include in the next issue. If you require confidentiality or don't want to post in a public forum, then e-mail your questions to [e-mail] [mailto]. Confidentiality is guaranteed.

Our first question comes from a Mr. Peter "Shoeboy" Johnson in Utah.

Dear Dr. Scott (PhD):

I've been sucking cock for quite a few years now, and I've always wanted to take the plunge into the world of the anus, but I'm afraid. I've nevar done anything like this before. Can you give me a quick introduction to anal sex, and tell me how I can get started "riding teh Hershey Highway"?

Love,
Shoeboy

Editor's Note:
Excellent question, Peter! Thanks for writing in! It's good to see thriving homosexual communities all around the country. Just watch out for all those Mormons in Salt Lake City: I hear that the penalty for Sodomy in your state is still death by firing squad. Don't get caught!

I passed your question along to the good doctor, and he replies...

Dear Shoeboy:

Absolutely. I was never interested in men's assholes until about four years ago, and suddenly I started thinking about them more and more. Here's the deal: If you want to have anal sex with a boy, there's no quicker way to it than to show him how turned on you are by licking and fingering his ass.

I don't always go there right away, but if you've had sex with a boy a couple times, and you haven't tried already, while you're doing him, reach around and gently rub his asshole with your finger, in a circular motion. If you're shy about it, just reach around like you're grabbing his ass-cheeks and make sure you reach far enough to 'accidentally' touch his anus with one of his fingers. If you hear him moan louder, you're set. Rub that asshole a little, and then ease the tip of your finger in there. This is even more effective if you look deeply in his eyes while you do it. I've only had one boy stop me dead in my tracks because it was a turn off for him.

Once you know he likes having his asshole touched, you can ease a finger in during oral sex, maybe two. If he's responding even more favorably, I'll just look up and say very seriously, "Oh god, baby, I want to lick your asshole." At this point, some boys will even roll right over and stick their ass in the air, ready for you to star licking. The key here is to act like you love licking that ass even more than you loved eating his cock. Don't worry, it tastes a little strange at first, but it's not that bad, especially if it's a nice, clean hairless one. Keep licking his ass and slide a finger or two in. It's a good idea to get a couple fingers in there, because it relaxes them for anal sex. The fingers in the ass are especially beneficial if they've never done it before, because it wont hurt so much when you slide it in their ass.

If you've gotten this far, it's not uncommon for a boy to beg for you to put it in his ass after you've been licking it for a few minutes. I've had a few anal virgins do this, one of them didn't even realize he liked to have his asshole stimulated until he met me.

Now, it's not for every boy, you'll be reading the signs as you go from one stage to the next. If you don't get the requisite non-verbal encouragement from them, just slow down, maybe try again later. Some boys are a bit weirded out at first if they've never had guys fingering/licking their asshole, and it will take them a while to get used to the idea that someone would actually want to do that. Don't mistake their 'weirded-outness' in this case with a dislike for anal stimulation. Once you've proven over time that you really do enjoy it, they'll relax and let themselves enjoy it too. Some boys are all right with kissing you afterwards, but make sure to assume that they wont want to. He'll let you know one way or the other.

Regardless of how you get there, there are few things in life that are as beautiful as bringing an anal virgin, or any boy for that matter, to the point where he's begging you with all his heart to fuck him in the ass.

HTH HAND,
Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD), Homocologist

Editor's Note:
I hope you've enjoyed the first issue of Sex Advice with Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD). Post your sex questions here, and Dr. Scott (PhD) may include them in the next issue, or e-mail them in [mailto].

Best Wishes,
Teh Editorial Staff

(DISCLAIMER: Sex Advice with Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD) is intended for entertainment purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for qualified medical advice. The use of the terms "Dr." and "PhD" should not be construed as implying that Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD) is a licensed medical professional.)