nizo's Journal: Stupid programming humor

So yesterday I was whipping up a quick script that was calling md5sum to generate hashes of files. Since I wanted to open a pipe to the command so I could snag the output, the obvious variable name popped into my head:

open (HASHPIPE, "/usr/bin/md5sum /tmp/foo |");

The opportunities to be creatively humorous are so few in programming.....

Analysis programs

[benhocking]

I write a lot of analytical code, and sometimes my first choice for abbreviated variables involving analysis are ... unfortunate. ("No, no, it's pronounced a-NAL-type.")

True dat

[Le Marteau]

I was in the habit of naming my main process "MakeItSo". Some contractor worked on my code and changed that name. Humorless bitch.

Re:

[Billosaur]

I have, from time-to-time, used Rush song titles for variables/subroutines. And geddy is still one of my favorite counter variable names.

Windows version of tail

[GeckoFood]

In a former job I was tasked to write a clone of tail for Windows. The lead wanted it set up as a DLL and he wanted a wrapper for the DLL and a mechanism to talk to it. The right solution in this case was using a pipe. The lead rode a motorcycle to work and he got involved in the naming of the internals. So.... I had TAILPIPE, backfire() (which handled exceptions), and exhaust() (data output), among other things. When it came time to make a small change to the application, someone brought it to me and asked

I work with a martial arts junkie

[metlin]

One of my best friends (who is also a co-worker) is a martial arts junkie who has a huge pile of medals hanging outside her cube (in Jiu-Jitsu, Judo, Mixed Martial Arts, wrestling, kick-boxing and a few others).

She always gives interesting names to her variables - something that kills a process is called "kicker" or the automatic sync service killer is called "ass_kicker" and so on.

Her code is rather fun to read! :-)