Journal Anarcho-Goth's Journal: How to Profile a Muslim 1
(Context, I occasionally listen to Randi Rhodes, a lot of times she just gives a lot of boring liberal/conservative rhetoric, but sometimes she is entertaining and/or informative. The last couple days she has been questioning the efficacy of Airport Security profiling for Muslims, as advocated by pundits. This is a satire that I wrote on the Randi Rhodes forum, that was deleted within the hour for violating the boards rules. The rules say nothing about satire or sarcasm, so I am guessing the admin has judged it to be "hate speech." Sheesh, even when you are agreeing with the liberals they still have their heads up their ass. I will try to email it to her direct, and hope that she has more intelligence than her forum's admins. (or maybe they are just very conservative about enforcing the forum rules.) I guess it was a good idea to not use the same signature on her forum that I use on slashdot.)
Well, the easy way to tell who is a muslim is by food preferences. Anyone requesting Halal food gets extra scrutiny from security. One problem with this is, the rules for Kosher food is very similar to the rules for Halal food. I have heard that Manischewitz is very popular among muslims. So lets add everyone who requests a Kosher meal to the profile too.
Then again, muslims, like jews, have holidays where they fast, so they are used to fasting. So they could put down "bacon souffle" as their food preference when they buy their tickets, but when the meal cart goes by can just say they are not hungry. (I am not kosher, but I almost never eat airplane food anyway.)
Maybe Ms. Rhodes was on to something when she suggested people prove that they are not a muslim.
It reminds me that during Japan's feudal period, Christianity was outlawed, and people had to prove they were not Christian by trampling a cross or other christian iconography.
So all we need to do is line the security checkpoint floor with Islamic iconography. Anyone who refuses has to go through the special muslim security checkpoint with full body/cavity search.
Then again, when that whole Mohammad Cartoon thing came up, I got the impression that iconography is generally frowned upon in Islam in the first place, so I don't know if there really is much in the way of iconography that we can use to line the Good, Loyal, Non-Terrorist American security checkpoint with.
I know! Lets have everyone who passes by the normal people checkpoint desecrate the Koran as they pass through. Everyone is given a Koran as they get in line, and then after they go through the metal detector, and right on the other side is a toilet. Everyone has to flush their copy of the Koran down the toilet before they get their shoes and carry-on back. Anyone refusing to flush a Koran down the toilet, and anyone who's Koran clogs the toilet gets to go through the Evil-Terrorist-But-We-Are-Going-To-Let-Them-Fly-Anyway-With-Just-A-Little-Extra-Security security checkpoint.
Schneier on profiling (Score:2)