Keith Russell's Journal: [World Cup] A commentator at the end of his rope.

This is actual commentary from ESPN.com's gamecast of the recently completed Switzerland-Ukraine match. I won't give away the final score for anybody who recorded it, but this may serve as a warning: The game was 0-0 during all of this commentary. (Typos are mine, because ESPN uses clipboard-proof Flash for gamecasts.)

87' Neither side are showing any inclination to press forward and score; this is a little embarrassing. It is the second round of the World Cup, for goodness sake - TRY AND SCORE!

98' [Swiss goalkeeper] Zuberbuhler takes his time as a back-pass is rolled to him. No Ukrainian closes him down, so he waits...
98' ...and waits...
99' ...and waits...
99' ...before finally deciding to clear. It is heartbreaking to see football played this way. It truly makes me weep inside.

118' A succession of sideways and backwards passes as the game limps onwards like a lame dog, waiting to be shot.
119' Italy must be quaking in their boots; they face the winner of this match.
120' FULL-TIME, EXTRA-TIME: I've had the misfortune to watch some bad football matches in my time. That was the worst, by some distance. And so an interminable match finally reaches the conclusion we all knew it would - a penalty shoot-out. Finally, we are going to have some action.

Oddly enough, he didn't offer any wrap-up after the game finally ended. He probably couldn't get away from the stadium fast enough.

Same old same old

[TopShelf]

You know, I'm an open-minded sports fan, and even had the good opportunity to enjoy in person the World Cup when it came to the US. I looked forward to the US doing better this time around and paying more attention to "the world's biggest sporting event."

After watching this spectacle alongside the Stanley Cup finals, however, you can't help but lose all respect for soccer. The endless flopping to draw fouls, the ridiculous fake injuries and stretcher runs out onto the pitch, the lack of discipline, etc. all pale in comparison to the commitment made by NHL players in their desire to support their team and take home the Cup.

When an NHL player gets hurt, they get off the ice under their own power and usally get back in the game ASAP (i.e. Ryan Smyth and Aaron Ward). When a soccer player comes within 6 inches of another player, he flails helplessly to the grass and grabs his face in agony. It's not competition, it's gaming the ref for favorable calls.

What soccer needs for starters is an Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalty for the floppers. It's just hard to take the whole thing seriously the way they act out there...