Journal bersl2's Journal: Well this morning sure has been fun already... 1
I'm truly sorry for that last post. I was distressed at that time. Of course, I am currently distressed as well, but for a different reason. I also apologize for all the medical stuff. Others have it far worse off and have a legit reason to record their status down.
First, a bit of background. Starting some time after the restart of school in early January but before the end of the month, I began noticing a recurring feeling after eating. What feeling is that? Why, it's the feeling I had with this incident. The abstract Latin title very liberally translated means "I ate some old food, and I'm trying to vomit it up, [but it won't.]" The feeling was like food being regurgitated but getting stuck in my esophagus. I wasn't nauseous, but I had chills and cold sweats, which usually accompany my nausea in general. I also began drinking large amounts of water to try to settle my stomach.
This started happening more and more frequently. I finally decide to consult the Intarweb. Having done my little hypochondriac thing, thence I came to the conclusion I was experiencing the onset of diabetes. It made sense at the time; like the kidney stones, diabetes also runs in the family.
By luck, my father called soon after. I explained my symptoms and my conclusion. He said that, as I described it, it sounds like the acid reflux he deals with---yes, that runs in the family too. I say OK, I haven't had a physical in two years, let's go get one over my spring break.
The doctor says that they do indeed appear similar symptomatically, but a blood test should confirm the matter. Oh fuck, that means needles. Doctor prescribes Xanax and something else to sedate me. Two days later, I try, but the medicine is complete weaksauce. I think they also screwed up my urine sample. Figures. So I don't have a definite answer yet. I'm probably going to get a gastroscopy at some point, but that also involves needles. In the meantime, I take a Prilosec every day. It has been helping, but obviously not fully.
If we backtrack to the week before spring break, I really began destabilizing there. I couldn't code anything, so I most likely fucked over some groups I was a part of for some CS classes.
After break, I still didn't feel like doing anything. Didn't go to class; didn't do any work. Barracading myself up in my room being depressed is not what I want to be doing. Not all the time, at least, and certainly not in a state of depression. I had an inverted sleep schedule for most of the week (dd "I mope all night, and I sleep all day!" dd).
Let's skip to the boring narrative about tonight: Yesterday at sundown was the first night of Passover. I live with a whole bunch of other Jews, so breaking kosher during Pesach is bad form. Everybody was eating dinner at various sedarim, and I didn't want to go anywhere, so I (stupidly) forego dinner (did I ever mention that I'm an idiot?). Maybe around 11PM, I got hungry and ate a few poptarts---the only food I had left, other than some insanely old tortilla chips and a box of hummus mix(?) (did I mention that I'm an idiot?).
At about 2:30AM, I notice that my leg is spazzing more than usual, that my pulse has begun to race, and that I'm breathing quite irregularly. I figure that I'm really hungry, so I make two more poptarts.
Just as they finish, at 2:47AM, I feel something pop in the side of my neck, and thus the fun begins. I think it really was vertibrae cracking (you know, in the same way you crack your knuckles), but at the time, I interpreted it as an aneurysm. One can just imagine the psychosomatic symptoms. I even wake someone else up and ask him to help convince me that I'm not going to die. Later, I was measuring the tachycardia, trying to convince myself that I wasn't going to die by arrhythmia. Still later, I thought it stopped on two separate occasions. I'm now starting to wonder whether all of my current physical health problems are psychosomatic in nature.
It's almost 8AM, so I'm going to go run down to the student health center and see if they will do something---anything---about this.
While you're at the infirmary... (Score:2)
You should still take advantage of that student health center and find a good mental health professional with which to work in addition to and in co-operation with good physical health professionals.
I ain't sayin' you're crazy.
I'm not calling you names.
I'm saying if you have physical problems you don't need mental stresses on top of them, and you need to find the line between hypochondria and ignoring real warning signs.
An impartial ou