Saturday Night Palsy's Journal: Help mold the personality of this handle

I'm looking for a sort of mission statement for this /. handle. I think I want him to be LIEK JEFFK!!! but I don't want a direct ripoff.

I think that l337 speak, especially when written by obviously unsk1ll3d early teens who overestimate everything about themselves, is still a potentially rich comedic vein. Slashdot could really benefit from more of this.

Any suggestions on where to take this character are welcome. I just ask that you please don't post AC if you don't mind. I need to know if it's someone trustworthy like Subject Line Troll or PhysicsGenius, or if it's someone not fit to wipe my boots on, like the accursed NanoGator.