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Journal KingKire64's Journal: New to the world 3

Well the trolls will be at me on this one. My question is that ive talked to plenty of ppl and ive formed an opinion about it but i was wondering about what you ppl thought. Im now single after 3 1/2 years. I wasnt very good at picking up girls to begin with but now i can flirt(bar/college party) and get to that point but cant kiss them or somehow "Seal the Deal", and what do you ppl think about hte Assholes get the girls nice guys console the girls. Ive talked to alot of girls and that saying seems to hold water. Its all the same i was just looking for some more opinoins. Opinoins from my slashdot friends will be taken with a bit more grain of salt. Oh and i work out alot quit smoking and am not an unatractive boring douche bag, its ashame you have to add that, but this slashdot, protection from the trolls to some degree.
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  • 1. Where are you looking for girls? This is pertinent because most girls you meet at bars (that are looking to meet guys at bars) are not the type of girl you really want to be looking for anyway. If you have to try to meet girls at bars, look for girls that are in groups of lots of girls with or without some guys around, that are obviously there to have fun with their friends rather than meet people out at bars.

    2. What do you do with your time? Do you have any interests that can potentially involve meeting other people? I had a friend that I was talking to about my lack of prospective guys (this was a while back), and he told me that given my personality and looks, I could find them anywhere, just go to the local bookstore and walk up to a ringless guy in the science, math or computer section and strike up a conversation. The same is probably true of you. Get out more, do stuff, be outgoing. Or, if you're not able to be social, go out and at least be visible. You could be the next guy at the corner table in the coffee shop that the next girl like me walks up to and asks to borrow a pen.

    3. I don't know who you're friends with, but I will not date the assholes you're talking about. My guy friends mostly have to console me over being too picky about who I date, or being bummed that none of the guys around are good enough (which is perhaps a blow to the guy I'm talking to, or so I heard from one of them once, but I hope they understand that I can't date them, they're like my extended family). Truthfully though, I am hoping to ideally surround myself with really close guy friends and then one of them one day will stand up and be Mr. Right. I don't have to be dating to know that someday he'll be there. Maybe you shouldn't fret so much. Of course, who am I to talk, I stayed single for a whole year once, by choice, but it took all kinds of effort. I have friends who wish they had my problems.

    Anyway, I am sure you'll be fine. Go places where you can demonstrate what you're good at, go places where people can interact with you, and don't be afraid to ask a girl out on a good old-fashioned date. There can never be too many dinners and movies. Be specific about asking. Time, place, event, all necessary. Most girls understand that and are happy you asked, even if they happen to have to say no because they are unavailable at that time, or are already seeing someone. Be persistent. Ask why they can't. If the answer is they have something they have to do then, have a backup plan already formed. Sure, sometimes the answer is "Well, I don't want to date you," but other times it is "well, I already have plans that night, but the next night would be okay."

    Liora's school of dating. I think I've said enough.

    • key in all this obviously is just be yourself.

      From the sounds of things, you aren't a total geek, nor an asshole. So, you got that going for you, which is nice.

      I put down a few things over in my journal for the more geekier section of /., but you are welcome to peruse it if you haven't already.

      Another thing, and I swear it's the truth, you only meet women when you aren't looking for them. I think this is an extension of the be yourself rule. When you are just hanging out, having a good time, women will see this and think, he seems nice, let me go talk to him.*

      *or so I am told. Who knows for real.

      The last thing:

      Just be yourself. If it don't work, maybe change should be sought in your environment or self.


The unfacts, did we have them, are too imprecisely few to warrant our certitude.