Idle Stories for 2017

Stolen Car Recovered With 11,000 More Miles -- and Lyft Stickers 119
Flat Earther Now Wants To Launch His Homemade Rocket From a Balloon 314
Predictive Keyboard Tries To Write a New Harry Potter Chapter 65
'Cards Against Humanity' Gives Out $1000 Checks 418
'App Truthers' Question the Accuracy of the Domino's Pizza Tracker 205
Did Elon Musk Create Bitcoin? 189
Is Sharp's Robot Vacuum Cleaner Vulnerable To Remote Take-over? 42
Asgardia Becomes the First Nation Deployed in Space 176
When an AI Tries Writing Slashdot Headlines 165
Data Science Meets Sports Gambling: How Researchers Beat the Bookies 78
Elon Musk Teases Reddit With Bad Answers About BFR Rocket 100
Startup Plans To Clean Up Cigarette Butts Using Crows 205
Parody 'Subgenius' Religion Wants to Crowdfund An Alien-Contacting Beacon 78
Saudi Arabian Textbook Shows Yoda Joining The UN 87
28 Years Later, Pioneering Tech Magazine 'Mondo 2000' Relaunches Online 35
In Which Linus Torvalds Makes An 'Init' Joke 359
Twitch Announces Six-Day Marathon Of Classic MST3K Episodes 26
New Maglev Elevator Can Travel Horizontally, Vertically, and Diagonally 213
Museum of Failure Opens In Sweden 253
Nutella Used An Algorithm To Design 7 Million Unique Labels 95
Steve Wozniak's Biographer Pranked By Woz's Mom? 11
Ask Slashdot: Seen Any Good April Fool's Pranks Today? 106
Terrifying Anti-Riot Vehicle Created To Quash Any Urban Disturbance 195
Court Fines Canadian $26,500 For 'Unconscionably Stupid' Balloon-Chair Flight 101
Fans Choose A New Football Team's Plays With Their Smartphones 47
Web Comic 'Pokey The Penguin' Celebrates Its 19th Anniversary 67
German Government Tells Parents: Destroy This WiFi-Connected Doll 142
Hundreds of Stonehenge-Like Monuments Found In The Amazon Rainforest 147
Tostitos' Breathalyzer Bags Can Detect If You're Drunk -- Then Call Uber 75
How A Professional Poker Player Conned a Casino Out of $9.6 Million 406

Real Programmers don't eat quiche. They eat Twinkies and Szechwan food.