Which is why we will soon be switching all nuclear launch authority to WOPR and/or Skynet...

Finally, a DSLR that can detect squant!

Not exactly. Infidelity would be serial (you sleep with your SO, then you sleep with your outside partner). Embarrassingly parallel is more like a 3-way or a circle jerk...

Just sayin'.

You already did. It's called taxes.

...sock puppet in prison...

I don't think they can use Slashdot from prison, no matter how many accounts they have...

No Doubt third wave references will show up. That's the Impression that I Get, anyway...

NOOO! The cake is a lie!!!!

Semaphore? What kind of weak sauce namby-pamby bullshit is that?

Us real cyber-criminals use smoke signals, n00b.

I'm sorry, I'm a geek; I don't understand sports metaphors. :-)

If you have to tell us it's an asshole-ish statement, it's not...oh wait, it was. Nevermind.

"Cats and dogs, living together; mass hysteria!" - Peter Venkman

> ...udder crap...

I'm not typically a grammar nazi, but please people: udders don't crap, they produce milk. The phrase is "utter crap". Thank you. That is all.

Earlier the female chose her mate by his fitness. Today, she chooses him by the size of his wallet. Evolution 2.0, if you will.

I would argue that she's still choosing her mate by fitness. A "large wallet" is indicative of societal fitness. In civilization, physical fitness has decreased in reproductive importance as it no longer has a significant bearing on our ability to survive and protect the family. The size of the wallet, however, is a very good indication of how well a mate can provide for the family.

I wish I had mod points. Best post I've seen in a long time. Candlejack! That's just bril