I take public transit, you insensitive clod! This doesn't apply in a direct sense unles I'm the driver or transit commission!
You might want to gripe at the News stations, not Toronto. We make a fuss when it's slushy as heck, not when the weather is crazy, as usual.
I've posted the converted version for Celsius, waiting for approval.
The Canadian Celcius
+10 New Yorkers turn on the heat: Canadians plant gardens.
+4.444 Californians shiver uncontrollably: Canadians sun bathe.
+1.667 Italian cars won't start: Canadians drive with the windows down.
0 Distilled water freezes: Canadian water gets thicker.
-6.667 Georgians wear coats, gloves, & wool hats: Canadians wear T-shirts.
-9.444 Californians begin to evacuate the state: Canadians go swimming.
-17.778 New York landlords turn on the heat: Canadians BBQ before it’s cold.
-23.333 People in Nashville cease to exist: Canadians lick flagpoles.
-28.889 South Texans fly to Mexico: Canadians throw on a light jacket.
-40 Hollywood disintegrates: Canadians rent videos.
-51.111 Mt. St. Helen's freezes: Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door to door.
-62.222 Canadian Boy Scouts put off "Winter Survival" camping till it gets cold enough.
-73.333 Santa Claus abandons the North Pole: Canadians put on their toques.
-113.889 Ethyl alcohol freezes: Canadians get frustrated – their screech kegs won’t thaw.
-177.222 Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-273.333 Atomic motion stops: Canadians start saying, "Cold nuf for ya, eh?"
-295.556 Hell freezes over: the Stanley Cup returns to Toronto!