"We will have a partner that is capable of their own wants and desires"
Not to be insulting, but this is literally the worst idea ever.
Suggest you read up on paperclip maximizers
to see why...
Aliens are actually much less threatening than AIs, because we can understand them better. Our goals are much more similar--our value functions seek to maximize chances of successful reproduction, meaning we seek to mate (or whatever) and gather resources to maximize the chances of reproduction for our descendants. An AI could want to do any number of things seemingly tangential to our lives, but in the end would consume all the resources available, including the atoms in our bodies. That is, they are TRULY alien, thinking and acting in ways that simply don't pop up on our radar as being in the realm of possibility.