Just order a few 55 gallon drums of green food coloring.
Presto! Green rocket fuel!

Assess Slashdot's core demographic (young white males with liberal leanings).

That's a bit racist and sexist. Frankly, everyone here looks green to me.

No, that should be "sudo get me a beer"!

Hell, yeah!

My brain just divided by 0.

Has anyone seen Rod Serling around here?

Anyone who has worked for the government, a contractor to the government and is/was employed by a company has had a background check done. You don't think said entities simply file away your personal information, do you? You've seen the many stories on /. about people not being hired or getting fired because of their Facebook/My Space/etc account. Well, you also invite the government/employer to use the rest of the information they collect from you to find out who you really are and not the prim and proper job candidate/employee that graced their doorstep.

Face the facts: Our world is a world where collection of information is a hot business and you are the prey. And your personal data that has been given or harvested WILL come back to haunt you.

Two bull sharks were spotted swimming past a McDonald’s in the city of Goodna...

Anyone else think we'll see a McDonald's commercial with an Aussie-accented shark?

And Steve Irwin was right: sharks WILL eat ANYTHING!

There are a few things I've seen in work places that really contribute to the bashing:
1. Suits who won't talk to IT staff
2. IT staff that won't talk to suits
3. Both sides bitch about the other behind closed doors and the grapevine still passes the scuttlebutt
4. Both sides having a superiority complex

I'd encourage the IT staffs to go and talk with your management. You'll be glad you did.

Hmmm... What you meant is "Countdown to breeding humans for large insect consumption starts in ..."

And I was looking forward to seeing the woodpeckers making holes in my house disappear in puffs of smoke.

Damn those woodpeckers!

All pencils and pens should be replaced with nice blunt magic markers. For math classes or other times when frequent erasing is needed, they can use an Etch-a-Sketch (tm).

Give kids the markers, they can sniff them to get high, then take their Etch-a-Sketch and bludgeon out the brains of the Math teacher.