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Comment: Re:lockin (Score 1) 248

by sootman (#47956987) Attached to: Why the iPhone 6 Has the Same Base Memory As the iPhone 5

> In an age where 16 GB is available as RAM on many desktops and laptops...
>The iPhone is just an underpowered palm computer...

Do you realize how big 16 GB of desktop RAM physically IS? And do you realize how fucking SMALL a modern smartphone is?

"Underpowered"? Compared to what, exactly? Please, show me a palm-sized computer from ANY manufacturer with all the power of a current desktop computer -- I'd love to have one.

Yes, the "portability premium" IS pretty goddamn high to make AN ENTIRE COMPUTER about the size of a laptop's hard drive alone. Do you actually CARRY your laptop in your pocket? No? Hmm, I wonder why that is... (And if you say "yes", then you've got a tiny netbook AND big pockets... and I'll bet my next year's pay that I can find a more powerful and larger computer.)

Also, there's this little thing called "physics"... how big do you want the battery to be to run a device at a certain performance level for any reasonable amount of time? Do you think there's no difference between the current draw of a big stomping desktop compared to a smartphone?

Seriously, how did you get a "+5, Insightful" out of that? All the smart people must be doing something besides reading Slashdot this weekend.

Comment: OH NOES, APPLE IS TEH DOOMED!!!!!111 (Score 0) 328

by sootman (#47937117) Attached to: Apple Locks iPhone 6/6+ NFC To Apple Pay Only

It will be ONE WHOLE YEAR MORE before they get into NFC in a big way!* This will certainly doom them, just like how they went out of business when they were late to the MP3 party, and again when they were late to the smartphone party, and again when they didn't let people install apps on their smartphones on Day 1, and then again when they didn't ship the first tablet...

Those morons, in the last 15 years they've doomed themselves so many times they just have to sit in the corner and console themselves with the fact that they're one of the biggest and most profitable company in the world. IDIOTS!

So wrong on so many levels. 1) Apple DOES has A solution for payments, just maybe not the one you want. 2) NFC is not the ONLY reason that someone will or won't buy a new iPhone. (Fun fact: they sold FOUR MILLION in the first 24 hours.) 3) Things CAN and WILL change. That year will go by pretty quick. They aren't going to miss the boat entirely just because they're not on it this year. 4) Did you notice Apple is the biggest company in the world? They have some smart people there doing good work. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, they analyzed their options and decided this was the best, and MAYBE it'll turn out that that's true.

* Besides all the pull they have with retailers and credit card companies to make them use Apple on the back-end... besides that one little detail, DOOMED!

Comment: lol (Score 4, Funny) 151

by sootman (#47886003) Attached to: To prepare for a coronal mass ejection, I ...

You know how when you first look at a block of words, your eyes and brain kind of skip around, read things out of order, and occasionally change words to fit what you think you're reading? My brain's first impression of this poll was...

To prepare for a mass ejaculation, I ...
_ Do nothing
_ Stockpile toilet paper

At that point, I figured I was reading it wrong.

In either case, my first answer is "Back up my data and foil-wrap the drive." Then the toilet-paper thing. :-)

Comment: Re:I can simply ignore all health and diet advice (Score 1) 291

by sootman (#47882925) Attached to: Link Between Salt and High Blood Pressure 'Overstated'

> at one point "research" showed that jeans
> were responsible for higher risk of cancer

Erm, are you sure that wasn't "genes"? ;-)

Favorite line from a comedian long ago: "I'm not sure about research, though. 'We took a 4-ounce lab rat, fed him 22 pounds of saccharine, and he developed a tumor!' Well, NO SHIT!"

Comment: Re:Incredibly bad live stream (Score 2) 730

by sootman (#47865379) Attached to: Apple Announces Smartwatch, Bigger iPhones, Mobile Payments

I had all those problems with the stream too. (The interlacing, especially, made me LOL.) Tried to watch for about the first third, then gave up. It also jumped back in time repeatedly, sometimes all the way to the beginning. At one point it was JUST getting good, then it bounced back a few minutes to the middle of the game demo.

One more problem: the stream problems led to problems with the web pages themselves, if you were watching it in a browser. And since the stream was embedded into the homepage -- not jus the /live/ page but the homepage itself -- I now have a screenshot of an error right on

Extra bonus funny: coverage at got images up BEFORE I saw them on the "live" stream. Obviously the stream was buffered a bit, but DAMN those guys at The Verge were FAST. They're getting pretty good at this. Multiple text posts and pictures EACH MINUTE. I don't like much about the verge, but their event coverage is pretty great.

At least #livestream on twitter had a LOT of funny comments to pass the time with.

Comment: Re:So what exactly is the market here. (Score 4, Interesting) 730

by sootman (#47865049) Attached to: Apple Announces Smartwatch, Bigger iPhones, Mobile Payments

What is exactly is your threshold for when a product should be created? That it does everything? That everyone likes it? Apple will sell METRIC SHITLOADS of these and do just fine, thankyouverymuch.

MOST Apple products are a little overpriced and underspecced upon release. Look at the original iPod -- it was indeed expensive, had no wireless, and "less space than a Nomad." Then it TOOK OVER THE WORLD. The MacBook Air was a little slow and $1699 or $1799 at launch, and then OH LOOK, the WHOLE PC INDUSTRY tried to copy it with the whole "ultrabook" thing, and by the way Airs start at $899 now.

So yeah, the first batch will be sold to people who are willing to spend $349 to see texts without digging out their phone. Then they'll get cheaper, more powerful, and more useful over the next few years. There is LOTS that could be done here. Maybe they'll create the pico-SIM and you'll be able to use it without your phone, and they'll push telcos into supporting it for free since it uses so little data. Etc etc etc. THIS IS JUST REV ONE. Stay tuned. And if you don't like it, don't buy it. Get a pebble or a moto or a samsung or whatever. Or don't. Apple will do just fine without you.

And finally, "a gigantic set of the population" DOES still wear watches. Apple became the most valuable company in the world JUST A FEW YEARS after introducing the iPhone, the original target of which (as announced by Steve Jobs at MWSF, January 2007) was just 1% of the phone market. A product at which Steve Ballmer famously laughed. Don't worry about Apple. They'll do OK with 1% of the watch market, too.

Comment: Noooooooo! (Score 1) 253

by sootman (#47818215) Attached to: Why Phone Stores Should Stockpile Replacements

> Read on for the rest of Bennett's thoughts

Don't! It's a trap! A long, drawn out, whiny, 6,959-word-long trap!

Guys, wake up: Soulskill and timothy are sitting on a mountain of Dice money and they have nothing better to do than troll Slashdot's millions of loyal readers, day in, day out. It's the only explanation that I can think of.

Well, it's either that, or they're a combination of retarded enough to think drivel like this is newsworthy and they don't give enough of a shit about their audience to bother to read the comments -- or if they do, they absolutely REFUSE to take them into account *cough*BETA*cough* -- but that thought is just way too depressing. I'd rather think they're malicious douchebags, than retards with keys to the kingdom. *sigh*

I am a computer. I am dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator.