"Welcome to Logitech technocal support. Please say the name of the item you want support for"
"Mouse and keyboard"
"I didn't get..".
"MOUSE AND KEYBOARD!!!"
"I'm sorry, I still didn't understand. Let me list items and you can interrupt me at any time. Keyboard..."
"What operating system are you using?"
"I didn't get that, please rep...."
"LINUX, YOU STPID PIECE OF SHIT COMPUTER, LINUX. L-I-N-U-X LINUX!!!!!!!"
"Let me connect you to a representative....."
(gunk music, at least it only took a few seconds)
"Hello, my name is" [at this point I'm reminded of Slartibartfast, as I don't give two shits what his name is. I just want some drivers). "What peripheral do you need information on?"
"A wireless keyboard and a wireless mouse."
"What's the model number?"
I turn the keyboard upside down and try to discern which of the two dozen unmarked and badly marked numbers are on it. I just read them all off; the voice mail computer already had me steaming. "Oh, here, P slash N, that must be the part number." I read it off.
"What can I do for you?"
"I need Linux drivers and software; the keyboard works but none of the media buttons work."
"You can find them at our web site..."
"I looked. I couldn't find them."
"Go to http://www.logitech.com..."
"I did, they weren't there. Just tell me the URL of the drivers."
"I'm not sure what it is..."
"If you can't find them, how in the hell do you expect me to?"
"One minute please..."
"OK, I found them under 'downloads, drivers'. What operating system?"
"We have Windows XP Professional, Windows XP home, and Windows 64."
"Look, I'm done with Windows. I moved on to Linux because I was sick of the God damned worms, viruses, spyware, and crashing. You don't even have Mac drivers?"
"We don't support the Mac."
"That really sucks. How much of a kickback is Microsoft giving you? I guess you don't want me buying any more Logitech products! Windows is crap, I'm done with it."
"What would you have me do?"
"Inform your upper management that they need to take the source code and recompile it under Linux!"
"I'll pass that on..."
"Good, you do that. I guess I'm done buying Logitech as well. Goodbye, good riddance."