So I laid it all out.
And he didn't yell or scream. He listened with great attention. And asked pertinent questions. And truly digested everything he had to say.
And he asked me whether I would stay and let him try to do better by all of the things I had just told him. He admitted that he wasn't the person he wanted to be -- and said no matter what, he needed to change that, not for me, but for him. He also said that he'd had trouble putting the last few years behind him, and that he would work harder on helping me with my career and being proud of me, instead of running away from what is a critical part of my life.
Basically he yet again threw me a loop. I was all ready to leave. I had it all planned. But I can't leave someone who said what he said last night. I have to give this a try, a real, balls-out try.
He's already set up a counselling appointment for us - 10:30am on Thursday.
I think that if I just follow everybody's advice from the last couple of days, that I can find some peace. As long as I communicate fully and forthrightly, I think I can navigate. No matter what happens next, I don't feel so trapped.
You are all incredible. You have been a bastion of support in a very lonely world. I love you all for it.